This story is provided for free by H.S. Kallinger as part of the Lost Humanity universe.
Timing: Three years after the Lost Humanity series ends, after short story Goddesses
Content Warnings: age gap, ableist language, discussions of abuse
Growing Family
“Oi! Don't pick on her, Jem!”
“Then she needs to stop trying to convince—dammit, Clara, don't cry!” Jamie rubbed her face and took a long, deep breath. “I can't. It's been three years, Garret. You need to deal with this. Stop leading her on or figure out what the fuck you want or whatever it is that's going on. She was already groomed, you took it over, now deal with it without hiding behind the guilt!”
“Groomed? Guilt?” Clara repeated, looking up from her hands.
“That's exactly what I asked you if I was doin' years ago, Jem, and you told me—”
“I know!” Jamie growled, and Garret shrunk back.
I was trying hard not to get involved, but Clara's pitiful expression was about to break me. I couldn't see her as a potential partner the way Garret could, even now that she was an adult. I saw her as a child that needed protecting. Three years out in the world had changed her maturity and naïveté a lot, but it hadn't done anything to change her tune. She loved Garret wholeheartedly, and she insisted she would wait her whole life for him to love her back if it would ever be possible. He was so confused on what he felt about her that he couldn't just tell her to give up, though he'd tried.
After Mia's wedding, he had sat down with her and explained to her what he'd done and why and why he wouldn't touch her again. She'd moved into the main house with us, heartbroken, but it hadn't lasted. She had decided that her feelings were real, and it didn't matter how she developed them. Garret was willing to take responsibility for that, and she'd halfway moved back in with him and started her three year mission of getting him to notice her.
Tonight's fight had been started by her trying to get Jamie to take her side, once again. She had tried once every three months like clockwork. Jamie had accepted the debate up until now. Clearly, she'd reached her breaking point. Poor Clara hadn't seen it coming.
“You want me to do summat about it?” Garret snapped, his eyes gone black. My chest tightened. I considered leaving. “Fine! Clara—you are certain you love me? Me, only me, and it's not changed in all this time?”
“I—I never said it hadn't changed,” Clara answered softly. She was shaking terribly, and I could hear her heart pounding so hard and fast that I opened my mouth to tell everyone to step away and breathe, but she beat me to it. She closed her warm brown eyes and took a slow, deep breath and repeated it until her heart was down in a safer range. She stood up and lifted her head high before taking long, purposeful strides up to him to meet his threatening eyes. “I loved you obsessively in the beginning. I couldn't sleep well thinking about you. You told me to find someone else. You told me to be a kid. I tried!”
That had been one of the biggest challenges with Clara. She had wanted to go to school. Not to have a tutor like Kiara and Ellie. She was as enthusiastic as they were reluctant. So, the St. Johns had adopted her. It had been a process, but Tony had done what I would have in Garret's shoes: he had reported her uncle for sex trafficking of a minor. Garret wasn't a mandatory reporter like Tony and I, and he had gone through the channels as he'd known them his whole life. I'd wished Garret had called me for advice instead of reacting. Tony was so feared by other vampires that no one had ever dared to put him in a position for reporting before, so he'd asked me about what the process was actually like before he did it.
While we were discussing it, he had told me about a child vampire named Eric North in Miami in the nineties that he'd busted as chief of the Miami VU who was running a child trafficking ring. He hadn't killed Eric himself, but he also hadn't made it to trial. It made me appreciate Myles more. He'd met Persephone and Clarissa as vampires already and had never gotten involved with humans due to his appearance.
Adopting Clara himself had been the tricky part for Tony, and it had involved less than legal or ethical means, but sadly, it was still probably safer than wherever she would have ended up as a beautiful, naïve 16-year-old girl in foster care. Jamie's conflict had been mostly with that. Her own horrific experience in foster care as a teenager made her actively hostile to the system, even though it had been entirely redesigned after the extent of the trafficking it was used for had been exposed over a decade earlier. I knew Jamie had guilt at pushing to keep her with Garret, but she felt he was better than taking the risk of trusting Clara with a stranger.
Of course, Clara had also managed to find out about emancipation and threatened to use that if she was separated from Garret when Garret himself had started pushing for trusting the new system.
“She's not a child. It won't be the same as what I—” he'd tried to argue, but he couldn't finish. He didn't want to argue for it. He wanted another option.
“No, it can be a lot worse,” Jamie had muttered, lost in the memories she said she'd trade for any earlier ones. The conversation had ended with that. Ann had volunteered without being asked.
Ann and Tony took her into their house during the hearings, and she stayed there whenever Garret wasn't home. After, Clara St. John had fit in fine with her new siblings, loved her new family and officially lived with them, but she was with Garret as much as he'd tolerate. And he tolerated a lot from her—more than I had ever seen him put up with from anyone else.
“I went to school. I dated. I fulfilled all of your requests except the impossible one. I can't forget you. I can't stop loving you. I know that you've only been in love like you love Zack just the once. But you love Sarah and Lukas, too. Why can't you love me like them?”
“What if I do?” Garret asked her, his teal eyes sad now. His pupils had shrunk back while she spoke.
“What?”
“What if I do? What if you can have me?” he asked. “Will you still love me?”
“Yes!” she cried, her face lighting up with joy as she reached for his hands. He took a step back, dodging her grasp. Her expression twisted into confusion.
“Then I'll do this right,” he said softly.
“Garret—” Jamie cut herself off, her eyes wide. My breath caught in my throat. I'd teased him. He'd teased back. I still didn't expect him to...
“Aye?” he asked Jamie. “Any reason I shouldn't?”
“If it's reactionary to this argument,” she answered. He shook his head. “You love her?”
“I am so confused about what I feel that I cannot say,” he answered. He turned back to Clara and went down on one knee. She gasped and clutched her hands together. “Clara Rose St. John, you win. I'm not sure what sort of prize I am, but if you'll have me, warts and all, then I'll do all I can to make you happy. Do you want to be my wife?”
“Yes!” she whispered. “Yes, yes, yes.”
I watched his face instead of hers. The sadness was gone. He blurred as my own eyes burned when I realized what I saw on his face. I'd had three years of warning; it was more than enough. I was delighted to see it. I wondered if I'd been a bad influence on him, refusing to admit that I had feelings for Katsuo or that I loved Dayo, my beautiful comet, just as much as any of my committed relationships. He had asked me how I'd feel if he did love her, and I hadn't answered properly. I didn't know, after all. But there it was. He loved her. I was happy for him.
I suddenly realized he had probably wanted to just be allowed to love her like she loved him and couldn't because he knew it was wrong. But he loved 102 year old Hattie enough after 85 years to talk on the phone with her twice a week and visit her every birthday since she'd turned 90. He'd love 102 year old Clara; I knew he would. It's why I had supported whatever choice he made since he'd made the bad one to save her. I refused to advise him. He had plenty of other people willing. He'd needed me to just support him, and that's what I had done.
“It's okay to love her,” I said, finally speaking up. Everyone but Clara looked at me. Garret stared wide-eyed over his new fiancée's head. He didn't stop hugging her. “It's okay. You're allowed.”
“Can you let me breathe, though?” she squeaked. He let her go and jumped back.
“Sorry!” he said, catching her hands before she had finished putting them down. Clara turned to me and smiled brightly.
“I wish you'd said that sooner,” she said.
“I didn't realize what was going on until just now,” I explained. “And I agree with everything Jamie has ever said to you. Garret should have called me and had me report your uncle that night three years ago. He didn't, and I think it's because he saw something in you that he could love. He told me once that he'd still have dated me at eighteen if he'd met me too young, as long as he didn't watch me grow up. Lukas has said that he doesn't discount seventeen-year-olds because humans are here for a blink, so any extra years you can get with one, you take, but not so young that they can't choose. I think you were too young to choose. I think Garret knew that. I think he knows you're going to grow up and change your mind. He's never had his heart broken, you know? He's not going to stop loving you.”
“I'm not going to do that!” she disagreed, her expression darkening. She spun back to Garret. “Is that true? You don't think that, do you? That I'll stop loving you just because I started so young?”
“Sometimes I feel like you don't see me, and then other times, it's like you know me better than I do, marra,” Garret choked out, not having looked away from me since I'd monologued.
“I always see you,” I protested. “Sometimes you don't give me the information I need, and pushing for it leads to fights. Sometimes we communicate badly. But I always see you, even if I'm missing the specific thing you're trying to get me to pick up on without you having to say it. I'm not Adam or Sakiko or Julian. I don't have any gifts to cheat with.”
“Adam couldn't tell me I was in love,” Garret said softly. “I keep my thoughts and feelins from Julian and Sakiko as best I can. They're my kids.”
“Yeah, Julian has complained about your 'mind your business' mental shield,” I said with a light laugh. “Adam has admitted that he's not great at identifying love that feels different from how he loves Polly and that he didn't love his family because he didn't remember a time before they abused him. He couldn't tell the difference between familial love and flock bonds.”
Garret wasn't the only one with a complicated relationship with love, it turned out. Unfortunately, Adam was the only person Garret could ask, and he'd been inundated with toxic monogamous thoughts. I had thought over and over what a shame it was that Garret had been denied love, but I couldn't help enjoying that I'd been the one to inspire it in a way he could finally identify.
“Garret? Do you really think that?” Clara pushed. Garret sighed and turned back to her. Aria tapped my foot with hers, and I looked down into her smiling face. I shook my head and smiled back.
“I love you, Clara. I wish I'd done it right, but...” He stopped and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. “I'd've never come back to find you.”
“I'd have tried to find you,” she said softly.
“No. You woulda forgot me like every other vampire paraded around a front o you.”
“I didn't see any other vampire before you,” she whispered. Her voice gradually rose into the passionate oratory I was used to from her. “You keep blaming yourself like a part of me didn't come alive the moment you walked into that room. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you. You're a perfect sculpture come to life. I feel like someone in ancient Greece would have confused you with Adonis, Dionysus, Apollo—you aren't inhuman for being a vampire but for how beautiful you are. You're the northern lights across the Milky Way: almost too much.”
“Well, how I look is summat that's not gonna change,” he mumbled, his face red at her exuberance. I was glad Lukas missed that. He'd have sulked that no one spoke to him that way. “But that's not love.”
“No, that's what I was obsessed with. That's what made me follow you away from everyone else. I had been taught to never be alone with a strange man, you know. Never let myself out of the sight of my guards. I had been flirted with before. I wanted you. And you wanted me! It was unbearably romantic to me—and yes, I know it wasn't romantic at all, but I was fifteen. I thought it was. But what was is that you put yourself at risk to protect me. You got yourself banished from the territory, risked your skin and blood for me.”
“Because you were an innocent kid,” Garret said, shaking his head. “It wasn't personal.”
“Fine. You're my hero if you won't be romantic. You don't get to take that away from me.” Her eyes were shining with tears, and he drew her close with his hands around her waist.
“Pet, I'm not takin' anythin' from you. I telt you already that you win. Just promise me summat?”
“What?” she asked.
“When you don't love me no more, go and be happy without me,” he whispered.
“Okay, I promise,” she said with a nod. His eyes went wide.
“You do?”
“Yes. It's an easy promise because I'll never not love you,” she said confidently. He kissed her, and I looked away to give them what privacy I could.
Aria looked up at me for a moment before sighing and setting her forehead against my knees where I had them drawn up onto the couch. I petted her freshly rainbow dyed hair. She'd loved me for fourteen years. No one else. I sometimes thought that I was wasting her life, but that was up to her. I loved her, too, but not the same way. It was the same way I loved Frieda—different from how I felt about Chris or Rory or any of my other pets. If Devonte hadn't saved me, Chris would have become trouble. Lukas had called him right—but he had also told me that it was okay. He wasn't afraid anymore. But I still was. I was afraid until it was too late, and Devonte swept Chris off his feet, and they were so beautiful together that my lingering crush melted away.
I was afraid of the ring I'd bought for Dayo. I was afraid of telling Sarah that I wanted to marry her. Bonding with her under the stars hadn't brought the drama I expected. I don't know why I worried about Sarah with Dayo. She had facilitated our moving from obligation to real desire. They were friendly ever since the night they passed me to and back from one another. Fifteen years. Sarah had used Dayo as a model a few times over the years. One painting went to Dayo, one was a gift to me that I hung in my music studio and the rest had sold for no small sums. Every time I played, I saw her smiling at me from the wall, and I was reminded how much I loved her.
Aria looked back up at me. I wondered why I couldn't love her back. She was here, she wanted me, she made me happy, we were compatible in all the ways that mattered, but I just didn't fall for her. She suddenly made a face and pushed my knees down so she could climb into my lap and hug me. I wondered what expression I'd had to warrant it, but I hugged her back gratefully. I did need it.
“Oi, this is my night to change things up; you get your own,” Garret teased us. I flipped him off without looking and was rewarded by a chuckle.
“We're not changing anything,” Aria chirped as she let me go and turned to sit without straddling me. “Don't worry. Zack still isn't in love with me.”
“I wish I'd stop feeling like I should apologize for that,” I muttered.
“Excuse you, where's my apology? Give it to me,” she demanded, sulking adorably. I laughed and mussed her hair.
“I'm sorry,” I said.
“That's right. You're missing out,” she said before plopping back against my chest shoulder first.
“You love him?” Clara asked, looking surprised.
“Yep.”
“And you don't love her?”
“I love her, but not romantically,” I said, voicing my feelings for the first time. Garret's expression matched Clara's, but Jamie glared at me.
“And how long has this been going on? Why was I not informed? Hello! Best friend here. How dare you?” Jamie growled at me. I held my hands up.
“I thought you knew she was in love with me!”
“I did but not that you knew or that you loved her back in any way!” Jamie protested. “What else do I not know? I demand to know right this minute.”
“Okay,” I said. “But Garret asked that tonight be about his propo—”
“Who are you proposing to?” Garret demanded, now looking as offended as Jamie.
“But you said—” I only got that far before Jamie audibly gasped. Garret's mouth dropped open.
“Salem?” they chorused. My head felt like it might explode from how hard I was blushing.
“You... both know that I'm in love with her, right?” I asked tentatively. I couldn't look at Aria. It seemed too cruel. The rude noises that Jamie and Garret made almost caused me to swear at them, but I deserved it. “Well, I was just worried that it would upset people if I said that I want to marry her. She said she would if it was an option, and I love her, and our relationship has worked for years, even with the distance.”
“When did she say that?” Garret asked.
“When the Emperor visited,” Jamie answered. “Lukas was the one who freaked out at me, surprisingly. He waited until everyone else was distracted and asked me to take a walk so he could dump it on me. He was afraid of it back then. He was still afraid of her. The third most powerful vampire in the world, Zack. You fell in love with her.”
“Sarah has an enormous crush on the Emperor, so...” I pointed out. Jamie laughed.
“It's too bad she spoilt things by propositionin' him to save you instead of goin' through the Empress like protocol dictates,” Garret teased. “He'd a happily fulfilled those fantasies she keeps sketchin'.”
“Oh. Yes. Too bad. Such a tragedy. I do not know how any of us sleep in the day,” I intoned with as much sarcasm as I could, making everyone in the room laugh.
“Laugh it up,” Jamie said after she finished. “The Emperor is the ultimate senpai for Sarah.”
“He's already noticed her!” I pointed out. “His wife said no. Lukas would have a conniption fit.”
“Who's the Emperor?” Clara asked. We all turned to her at the same time.
“I rescind my blessing on this marriage,” I joked. Garret snorted, but Clara looked stricken. My eyes went wide. “It was a joke! I swear! Because you're young and lacking important knowledge and... it wasn't really funny, and I'm sorry.”
“He's the most powerful vampire in the world,” Garret answered her and then gave her a small rundown of his powers and the night we met him as he settled down on the couch next to Aria and me with Clara in his lap. She watched him speak like every word was the most significant in the world, and I vaguely remembered feeling that way about Lukas. I had always been comfortable around Sarah, but Lukas had awed me every time he patiently explained anything or told me a story. That had faded over the decades, but I could still lie in his arms and listen to him talk for hours.
Maybe I was wrong about Clara. Maybe she did love Garret in a way that would endure. I didn't dismiss Mia's love for Harley at the same age. When she'd curled up next to me and looked up to say 'Daddy, I think I love him,' I had believed her. I had even been happy for her. I liked my son-in-law. I believed in their love, their marriage. Of course, 19 and 22 was a far cry from 19 and 173. I shook my head slightly at the thought of Garret's age. Too young and too old at the same time to make sense. He had been 71 when he met 17 year old Hattie and only appeared two years her senior. That made more sense, age-wise, but still clashed with his teenage face.
“And then you went to Japan and lived in his castle?” Aria interrupted, startling me out of my reverie.
“Aye, and Zack followed,” Garret said, smiling fondly at me.
“Not as long as I would have liked,” I said, smiling back. “I'd have stayed with you for a lot longer if I could have just gone back and forth instantly.”
“It's only a three hour flight,” Clara said, confused. Ah, generation gaps.
“It was almost eleven hours back then,” I corrected her, and her eyes went wide.
“I remember when the commercial hypersonic planes launched,” Aria said.
“So do I, vividly, because it was two years after I had to travel on their slower predecessors back and forth over the Pacific umpteen times,” I grumbled, interrupting whatever she was about to say.
“Oooh, so the year they figured out anti-sonic-boom tech!” Aria said excitedly, used to me being rude.
“Yep. Fuel economy was supposed to be the last hurdle, but oh my god were supersonic planes loud.” I cringed at the memory. Humans thought they hated them without the boom suppressors, but for a vampire, it was like standing next to a cannon being fired—with your ear against the barrel.
“Were they still using fossil fuels?” Clara asked.
“Oh, god no,” I said, shaking my head. “We got rid of those before you were born. Shit, you're younger than the fossil fuel ban.”
“You're younger than us landin' on the moon,” Garret teased me.
“I just made you less upset about her age, didn't I?” I asked.
“Aye. In ten years, it won't matter,” he agreed.
“You're not making me wait ten years to marry you, are you?” Clara asked, sounding horrified.
“Why? Won't you still love me? Cannot wait for me?” he teased. But, as usual, Clara was oblivious.
“Oh. I guess you're right. If that's what you need, I'll wait,” she said softly, picking at a cuticle.
“Clara...” Garret turned to stare at the wall, and she followed his gaze before prompting him to continue. “Are you plannin' to stay human, or are you wantin' to change?”
“I want to stay human.” Her reply was instant, and he cocked his head to the side. “Um, do I need to change to stay with you?”
“No,” he shook his head. “Why don't you wanna change?”
“I have no interest,” she said and shrugged. “I don't want to live on blood. I love the sun. I don't think I could handle centuries of life. It sounds... difficult. I don't like vampire society. I don't mind being a part of it with you, but I prefer the demands for humans to that for vampires. I want children. I want to grow old and never know how long I have or worry that it will be too long. I don't care about being strong or fast. Sometimes when I'm sick, I think it would be nice to not deal with that, but that isn't enough.”
“Children,” Garret repeated. “How many?”
“How many do you want?” she asked.
“I've already got five.” He smirked, but she frowned.
“You don't want children?”
“Never did,” he answered. Tears sprang up to her eyes again. He didn't comfort her, just waited to see what she would say. But instead, she turned away and curled around her knees and started sobbing. He pulled her back into his arms. “Clara! I said I never did, not that I don't!”
“What?” she sniffled miserably.
“Garret, say what you mean, dammit,” Jamie admonished. “You're tormenting her.”
“She says she loves me. This is me,” Garret replied. Jamie pursed her lips, and I frowned at him with her. He wasn't wrong, but...
“I missed a joke?” Clara asked. “It was a joke?”
“No, it was the truth,” Garret said. “The joke was makin' you wait ten years. I'll marry you as soon as you have it all planned out. I'll give you your babies. I know how to be a husband. I told you: I'm gonna make you happy. I used to be afraid of havin' kids, and that's part o why I'm upset at you bein' so young. I don't wanna be like the man who woulda hurt any lads I had, who hurt me.
“But he's been dead twenty-eight years, and I've been a da for—I'm not sure how long, but more'n twenty years. I'm not opposed to my own any more. I'll give you as many as you like. I promise.”
Clara was still crying, but I didn't think she was upset anymore. He shot me a worried look, and I smiled and shook my head. I signed 'happy' to him around Aria in BSL because it was easier than ASL with my arms full of my pet. I'd learned BSL to understand Adam and Garret, and I'd learned ASL with Adam when he emigrated to the US with Polly to stay. Adam was able to help with learning because he'd just dumped his memories of lessons in my head. When I was able to stop throwing up from the migraine it gave me, I had a good grasp of BSL.
“Please wait a few years to start having babies,” Jamie said. Clara looked up at her, and before she could ask, Jamie was answering, “It was hard for me to wait, but I don't regret it. There were times when I wished I'd started earlier, but that's because it meant I changed later in life than I wanted. If I was going to stay human, I would have been perfectly happy with the choices I made. I wanted kids just as much as you seem to. I think I harassed Zack and Sarah more than Zack's mom did.”
“You absolutely did,” I agreed with a laugh. “You were just sneakier about it. Mom said what she wanted. You dropped little hints. 'Oh, look, there's a playground just down the street from the house!' 'I bet we could add a room onto that part of the house if we needed another.' 'This back yard is perfect for kids to play in.' And so on.”
“Why didn't you just have babies yourself?” Clara asked Jamie.
“Because it would have been worse than inconsiderate when Sarah and Zack weren't ready. Sarah was afraid of having kids because her mom almost died giving birth to her. I told her that I was happy to carry the babies, but she would just say that Zack wasn't ready at that point.”
“Why weren't you?” Clara asked. I considered everyone in the room before answering.
“Because Lukas beat me,” I answered. Aria cringed and curled up, so I hugged her closer. “I didn't want to bring kids into that. I had no idea that having kids would make him work on himself so hard or I would have seriously discussed how Jamie wanted to get pregnant until Sarah was ready. I'd say I would have married Sarah earlier and started a family earlier, but then I think that I might not have Eva, and I get really upset. But even then, I waited to ask Sarah because I wasn't sure it was okay for me to put myself in the spouse spot when Lukas and Jamie loved her just as much as I did.”
“You said you just wanted to be sure you wanted to marry her,” Jamie said.
“I was waiting to see if Lukas asked first. He was with her first. I waited to see if you would take the legal state option and marry her in another state, even if it wasn't recognized here. I waited to make sure that my desire to marry her never wavered. I waited to see if Lukas was going to stop beating me. I almost left twice.”
“What?” Jamie's eyes went wide.
“Twice. I think you know both times I'm talking about.” I wasn't willing to say more than that. Jamie scrunched up her forehead, and the silence in the room was strangling. “But that's the past, and I don't really want to spend time there. Lukas hasn't hit me in years. He got help. He chose to do better, and he did it for himself. We're so much better than we were then. Maybe someday, when we're tired of the empty nest, we'll have kids again, and this time, it can be the way it always should have been.”
“I can only think of one time that makes sense,” Jamie said. “I think I may have lost some memories that I'm glad not to have.”
“Good,” I said, meaning it. “I'm not helping you recover it.”
“I didn't know any of that,” Aria said, shaking in my arms. “How could anyone hurt you? How?”
“Don't cry!” I tried to comfort her, but she wasn't having it. I didn't realize that I'd never told her. I knew she knew I'd been Lukas's slave, but I guess she hadn't thought about what that meant. Frieda knew, Rory knew, but I didn't talk about it with Aria because I almost never talked about dark subjects with her. I didn't talk about it with Chris, either. I had talked about it with Dakota, my most recently acquired pet, because their last vampire had been an abusive dick, too. None of the others, though. “I'm sorry I answered honestly. I forgot you didn't know.”
“Don't treat me like a child,” Aria cried. “You're my best friend. I should know these things.”
“Hey,” I hooked my finger under her chin and made her look at me. Her blue eyes were puffy and red, and she sniffed miserably. “I've told you before that you're my rainbow. I don't want anything to spoil how pure and wonderful you are. I don't want to hurt you with my darkness. Ever.”
“This is why your pets fall in love with you,” Garret teased me as Aria sobbed harder. I sighed.
“I'm—not—a—fair—weather—friend!” Aria hiccuped. Clara was frowning sadly at her.
“You love me romantically?” Clara asked Garret.
“Leave it alone,” Garret said. “I'm not Zack. I don't have the experience with my own feelins he has. I cannot say this or that. When he doesn't love someone a certain way, he cannot be with them as a couple. I'm not like that. You asked me to love you like I do Sarah or Lukas, and Lukas is too confusin' for me to love anyone else like, but I can love you like I love Sarah. If that's not enough—”
“It is,” Clara said, smiling now. Aria had calmed down while Garret spoke.
“It's enough for me,” Aria said softly. “It's always been enough for me, the way he loves me. I don't mind.”
“I'm glad to hear that,” I told her, feeling an old weight lift off my chest. “When I loved Garret, but he said he couldn't love me, it hurt. A lot. But I got over it. Because even if he didn't love me, I still had him. I had his friendship, which was the most important thing to me. I had his companionship. I had his bed. If he couldn't love, then I was missing nothing. That's what I told myself. But I didn't live with it for long, because it turned out he did love me. I think I could have settled in with him even if he really was fully aromantic. So, I believe you. I'm sorry I can't give you the things that come with romantic love, but if you say you're happy, I believe you.”
“I could go for pity sex,” Aria teased, and I snorted.
“Don't let Sarah hear you say that,” Jamie said. Aria shrugged.
“Sarah said she was okay with it when I told her,” Aria answered, surprising me once again. Jamie looked even more surprised than I felt.
“Okay with what?” Sarah asked as she opened the front door. Lukas came in with her and scrunched his face up in confusion at those of us on the couch. “What did I miss?”
“Wow, is that a long answer,” I replied at the same time Aria answered.
“Zack giving me pity sex.”
“Is that happening?” Sarah asked as she hung up her coat. Lukas turned to stare at Sarah.
“No,” I answered, and Aria sighed dramatically and flopped back against my chest again.
“I'm gonna marry Clara,” Garret followed, getting both Sarah and Lukas's attention.
“Should you not ask St. John's permission?” Lukas teased. Garret, as if to prove Clara wasn't the only one capable of taking a joke too seriously, suddenly scooted his fiancée off his lap and skittered out the door without another word.
“What?” Clara looked very confused now.
“Lukas triggered human life social conditioning,” I answered.
“Oh,” Clara said. “So he's asking Papa?”
“Mm-hmm,” I answered, amused. She had never managed the accent on the Italian form.
“Isn't that the sort of thing everyone wanted me to get away from?” Clara asked.
“Yep,” I answered. “But at their ages, skipping that could upset them both, so...”
“I see.”
“May we return to Aria's request for physical intimacy?” Lukas asked, clearly not having gotten that it was a joke. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe I was the oblivious one.
“You know I can't,” I said, looking at Lukas and then Aria. Aria nodded. “I mean, I physically can, but I can't.”
“I was just joking,” Aria lied.
“I know,” I let her have it. “It's not like you don't get a certain level of that intimacy with me almost every month.”
“True!” Aria agreed cheerfully. She gave me a grateful look, and with that, we silently communicated that she knew I knew she really had been hoping I'd agree. Sarah shot us a sympathetic look.
“But I... am going to ask Salem to marry me,” I threw out. Sarah burst out laughing. Lukas snorted. “Yeah, yeah.”
“Took you long enough,” Sarah teased me, exactly as she had about my proposal to her.
“I did not expect you to admit that this quickly,” Lukas said. “You only bought the ring last week.”
“Nice to know you're still stalker-level aware of everything,” I shot back, and he chuckled.
“I assumed you used our joint bank account to tell me without having to tell me,” Lukas said.
“I—” I realized that he might be right. I hadn't consciously thought about it. I used that one because it was where the majority of my big money was, but I had multiple cards I could have used.
“You told on yourself without even thinking about it,” Sarah said from Jamie's lap, still giggling.
“You smell like Kimiko,” Jamie noted as she sniffed the back of Sarah's neck. Sarah blushed. She had spent the early evening with Kimiko, so that was to be expected.
“Are you and Himura-san going out on Friday or Saturday?” Sarah asked me. “You didn't put it in the calendar.”
“He had to cancel,” I said, shaking my head. “He got asked to work overtime both nights at the post office to keep up with the holiday. We're still going to iaido and jujutsu, and we'll probably go back to his place after both.”
“When are you going to propose to Salem, then?” Lukas asked. He looked lonely in his chair, and if Aria hadn't clearly needed me to cuddle, I'd have joined him.
“I suddenly have the weekend free,” I said. I turned to Sarah. “Unless you were trying to make plans with me.”
“That's more important,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “How are you going to do it?”
The front door opened, letting Garret in. He looked content, and I smiled. The conversation with Tony must have gone well. Clara noticed, too, and smiled brightly at him.
“He said yes?” Clara asked.
“We have his blessing,” Garret confirmed. “I know he's not your real da—”
“Yes, he is,” Clara interrupted. “He adopted me. Legally and culturally, he's my father now. I barely remember my biological father. I love Tony and Ann. They've been wonderful to me. The worst thing in my memory was the night you told me that you couldn't love me and that you shouldn't have saved me the way you did. My uncle was never mean, and I didn't have any idea that he was abusing me. I have no negative memories with him at all, which is very confusing now. He was patient and indulging. Tony has been the same.
“Talia tells me I'm spoiled and lucky I missed being there before Lea was born. That's me, I guess? Spoiled and lucky. Because I'm happy. I've always been happy, and now I have parents who love me, siblings that treat me like I'm blood, metamours that accept me, and I get to live happily ever after with the man I love.”
“It's odd, you bein' siblings with kids I think of as my nieces and nephew,” Garret said, frowning. “St. John bein' my brother and all. But none of it's blood, so it don't really matter.”
“Vampire family ties are confusing,” Clara said. Garret nodded. I had barely managed to stop myself from mentioning that he'd lost his virginity to a cousin and planned to tease him about that later. The last time I'd teased him, he'd pointed out she wasn't a first cousin and then bit me. I wanted some biting.
“So, do you need help moving in with Garret?” Sarah asked as Garret sat back down next to Clara and took her hand in his.
“She's not doin that,” Garret negated.
“What?” Clara demanded. “But you—”
“I cannot take back what I did years ago, but I says I'm gonna do this right,” Garret said. “You said you'll wait ten years, but you won't wait until after the wedding?”
“Why bother? That's archaic. No one does that anymore!” Clara protested.
“I never got to,” Garret said softly. “Give me this one thing to separate you and me from everyone else I been with.”
“When you put it that way, how could I ever refuse?” Clara gazed at him, so starry-eyed that I expected to find Lukas sucked into them. He was on his phone, though.
“When Lukas realized that I was conflicted on our marital status, not really sure if we were serious about calling each other 'husband,' he took my ring away,” I said. “He wouldn't give it back or share my bed until after we had a real ceremony, not just a ring and title exchange like we did originally. But I hadn't been waiting three years to get back in his pants.”
“So, it's still special,” Garret declared. “If you'll be wor lass, then that's my second condition, I suppose.”
“What was the first?” Sarah asked.
“That I leave him when I stop loving him,” Clara said. “Which was easier than this, because I know I'm always going to love him.”
“What if you fall in love with someone else?” Sarah asked.
“Am I not allowed to do that?” Clara asked Garret.
“Of course you are,” he said.
“And I still get to keep you as long as I love you, right?” she confirmed, and I saw the moment it clicked in his head.
“You think you'll do that?” he asked.
“I don't know? I haven't fallen in love with anyone else, even with all of you saying that teenagers fall in and out of love all the time. I gave it my best try. I even dated a few girls to see if I was bi, but I'm not. Kissing girls is nice, but I didn't want to do more than that. I had sex with a couple boys, and it didn't change how I felt about them or you. I think I'm like Jamie. I'm in love with you, and I'm only going to love you. I'll keep trying if you want me to, but—”
“I don't want that,” Garret said. “If you wanna be with someone else, that's fine, but you don't need to try to make it happen anymore. I'm sorry if you only did that to please me.”
“Ultimately, I did it to prove it to myself as much as you,” she said. “You were all so insistent that it was just first love or young love and that I'd get over it. So, I tried. It's not like I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't fall for anyone. Just you.”
“You win,” Jamie said. We all turned to her. “You win. That—reminds me too much of trying to not be a lesbian. I didn't go that far and still knew I couldn't be attracted to men. I was probably in love with Sarah easily as young as you fell for Garret. You win. Our debate is over. I'm sorry that I was dismissive just because I'm so disgusted by your uncle grooming you. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. But I stopped being mad at Garret when he stopped sleeping with you.”
“He won't sleep with me. Just Zack.”
“That isn't going to change,” Garret said. “Please forgive me for that. My bed is only for Zack to share.”
“I meant having sex, for fuck's sake,” Jamie said. I mulled over that comment while half the room laughed and remembered Garret promising to keep a place in his bed in the day just for me. “And I was trying to say that I was mad at the situation as a whole afterward.”
“Back to sleeping, though,” I said, and now I had the room's attention. “You can sleep in her bed and still keep our promise.”
“It won't bother you?” he asked, and my heart swelled. I'd guessed right. It wasn't his old aversion to sharing a bed. It was his vow as my partner.
“Nope. Your bed is ours. Her bed is your marriage bed,” I said. I looked over at Lukas apologetically. I'd shared our marriage bed with Garret first because I hadn't had another bed to use. Our marriage had always been a three-way with Sarah, so being intimate with her in his bed hadn't violated it. He met my eyes before he looked back down at his phone.
“Did I bollocks up your vows?” Garret asked. I opened my mouth to say yes, but Lukas beat me to it.
“No.” He looked up to meet my eyes for a moment before he faced Garret. “Zack promised to stay true to our bed, but our initial vows only encompassed his mortal life. He was in his second life when I was willing to try to let the two of you be together. Our vows in this life did not come until you were already a part of it, a part of us. It is true that I originally was vehemently against allowing you to use our bed, but I had made peace with it by the time I gave my consent. The idea of Zack having to leave every time he wanted to make love to you was ridiculous. An old belief, an old tradition, was not worth his happiness. It also made it easier on Vincent and me.”
“I love you,” I told him. He smiled.
“I love you, too.”
“You texting Vincent?” I asked.
“Vincent, Niccolo, Allen Green, Ruby, Samiya, Mae, Ellie, Evangeline, and Toby,” he listed. I smiled. Toby had broken Lukas of calling him by his full name halfway through high school. He still went back and forth from time to time, but he was the only one of the kids whose nickname Lukas consistently used. Ellie had been good practice, never wanting to be called Elliot. Her mom had always called her by her full name, so Lukas had only ever used it once. Of course, my mom had started it.
“Where's Toby tonight?” Clara asked.
“Las Vegas,” Lukas answered.
“Vegas is today?” I asked and pulled out my phone to shoot him a good luck text.
“I can't believe he made a career out of gaming,” Jamie muttered.
“I'm kinda jealous,” I admitted.
“Mm-hmm. You pretended to be worried about him being addicted—”
“I was!” I interrupted Sarah. “Now I worry that I was just being old and technophobic. I dunno. If I could have made a career out of video games...”
“You would have had to perform on international live broadcast,” Lukas pointed out, and I cringed.
“And missed out on my bookstore. Two big enough points to talk me out of it. Toby likes being center stage, just like Eva.”
“Incoming call from Julian,” My ear clip informed me.
“Answer,” I told it. “Hello?”
“Hey, Dad.”
“Now?” I asked at the excitement in his voice. I patted Aria urgently, and she hopped up so I could follow suit. Everyone in the room stood up, catching on immediately.
“Yes, now,” he said, laughing. “We're at the birthing center. Zaria is trying to dance him down, but the midwife says she doesn't expect this to take very long given how fast she's progressing. We only got here twenty minutes ago.”
“Do you want us to wait?” I asked. I saw Sarah's expression and turned slightly away to avoid the daggers in her eyes.
“No, no. The waiting room's got plenty of space.”
“Garret's going to be annoyed. He called tonight for big events,” I joked. Garret laughed.
“Zaria gets the exception,” Garret called loud enough for my clip to pick up. Julian laughed.
“What was his big event?” Julian asked.
“He got engaged to Clara,” I answered.
“Ahh, that explains the emotional shit storm I've been feeling all evening.”
“That would be it,” I confirmed, stopping myself from apologizing. I hadn't caused it, and Julian hated unnecessary apologies.
“Da shut it down quick, but Mom isn't good at blocking me out.”
“You're not supposed to emotionally eavesdrop,” I admonished him.
“I don't usually, but it was a big ball of upset from Da. Like, I was shook. I almost called, but I was trying to help Zaria make it through early labor, so I just listened a little until Da dropped his shields, and I felt him go all lovey. I butted out then. I thought Mama had come home and fixed things. Clara, huh? I don't think I've ever felt him not be all mixed up with guilt and trauma with that love before. Whatever you guys did, good job.”
“Thanks,” I said, pushing away my standard empath/telepath annoyance. “We'll drop Clara off at home, and then we'll be up there in about twenty minutes. Do you need me to call anyone so you can just be with Zaria?”
“I already called her mom. Will you call Gram Gram and Grandma? And my sisters?”
“No problem. Freyja's staying with Gram Gram. Did you want them to drop her with the St. Johns before—”
“Yeah, no, bring lil sis along. She wanted to be here.”
“Okay. See you in a bit. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Dad. Tschuss.” He hung up, and my clip beeped.
“Call Mom.” While it rang, I shot off a text to most of my friends and pets, 'I'm about to be a grandpa again!' While I texted, I said, “Sarah, tell your mom, will you?”
“Hey, sweetie, how are you?” Mom greeted me.
“Hey, Mom. I'm good. I hope you are, too, because you're about to be a great-grandma again!” I said. She gasped and started calling for Charlie to load up Freyja in the car to go see a baby. I chuckled listening to Charlie sing about it to Freyja in the background. “Which hospital?”
“The birthing center in Santa Rosa. I'll send you a map,” I answered.
“Not the one Mia used?”
“No, Mia used the same one Jamie did,” I said. I could hear Sarah almost repeating me with her mom.
“Are we bringing Freyja?”
“Yep. We'll meet you there.”
“I love you so much, baby. I'll see you soon,” she gushed.
“I love you, too, Mom. Buh-bye.” I called up Eva next while Sarah called Mia, and then I joined everyone waiting outside. Clara and Garret were standing by the road, kissing good-night. I checked my feelings on it, but they were fine. I thought sadly of Jordan and how much Clara reminded me of a shockingly not fucked up version of her. Not just their youth but the tenacity, the surety of their own hearts. Mine broke for a moment for Jordan, who never got the future she deserved, and I said a silent prayer for her, wherever she was, that she had found peace. Then I let go of the sadness to be happy for Garret and Clara.
Shit, my partner was going to have a wife. It hit me hard in that moment how much Garret had changed. I made a note to make sure I saw it and talked about his feelings on it instead of making my cousin joke—or before making it. Seeing his love growing only made mine stronger. I had to walk over and hug Lukas tightly before I got overwhelmed. He knew exactly what I needed and hugged me back just as tightly. It was painful before either of us let go, but I felt enormously better when we did.
“Send me a pic as soon as you have one,” Aria called to me from the street, and I ran down to her to hug her good-night.
“I will. You don't want to be dropped off on the way?” I asked.
“Naw. The cold night air feels nice,” she said. “I'll be fine.”
“Okay. Text me when you get home. You have your pepper gel and a knife?”
“Yes, Captain Paranoia. I'm always armed at night,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“All of Lukas's pets were killed in one day not all that long before I met you. I am never not going to be terrified of losing you. I will not get over it. Not ever, do you understand?” I dropped it on her. I had always let her think I was just silly and paranoid. She shook in my arms again, her eyes as big as I had ever seen them.
“Oh my god. I knew something bad had probably happened, but... I love you. I joke, but I promise I have always taken all of your security precautions seriously. I have always been aware that this is a master street. We used to go on lock down back on Paula's street, so I grew up knowing that safety protocols are life or death.” Aria hugged me with all her strength, and I picked her up in the hug, making her laugh. I couldn't leave her melancholy.
“I love you, too. You're so important to me. Please know that,” I said. She nodded and grinned.
“Thank you,” she said. I kissed her forehead and pulled her hood up before I stepped back. “Sure you don't want a ride?”
“I'm sure. I need the air. The guards will hear me if I scream. I'll be safe,” she assured me. I wished I believed that.
“You should have brought Ludwig with you,” I said, referring to her sweet, goofy pit bull.
“Oh, but he was playing so nicely with Connor when I left, I couldn't,” she said, shaking her head.
“We need a new dog,” I muttered.
“You're the one who keeps crying every time Freyja says that,” Aria pointed out.
“I just miss Ursa so much. She was the best dog ever. I know seventeen years is a really good run for a dog, but it's never enough.”
“You're going to start crying again,” Aria teased me and poked my arm. “And Ludwig is a wonderful dog, so how dare you?”
We both laughed and said good-bye again before I climbed into the CUV that had pulled up alongside me to wait. Sarah was in the front, so I sat in the very back with Garret. Jamie scooted over to the seat behind Sarah before we pulled out.
“Tell me I'm makin' the right choice, marra,” Garret said, resting his head on my shoulder.
“You're making the right choice,” I obeyed. He sat up and met my eyes. I smiled. “You want it to be the right choice, so it is.”
“Just like that?”
“No, but we've been through enough drama with Clara. She's spoiled and lucky, so she gets you.”
“Are you okay with this?” he asked.
“Garret, I am thrilled to see you in love. This isn't some rapid change; it's been gradual. I love seeing who you become now that you're free to just be you. I love you.” I tried to cover all my bases, remembering all the things he'd asked of me in the past. Gratitude shone in his eyes, and his hand clutched mine tightly.
“Thank you, marra,” he said before resting his head back against my shoulder. It stunned me. No follow up questions? No requests for clarification? Had I learned his language? I closed my eyes tightly, trying to keep them from leaking. I was excited to see my grandson. Garret was happy and finding even more happiness.
I missed my dog—which made me remember Kätzchen, and I missed him, too. Jadzia and Ezri were great kitties, so I didn't know why I was so reluctant to get a new dog. Oh. Leonard's attack. Of course. I was afraid of putting another dog in that position. The cats were indoor only, but we had to walk a dog.
Julian was about to become a father! My excitement overwhelmed everything else, and I nuzzled Garret's hair. I was looking forward to seeing most of the kids together again, too. Zaria hadn't wanted to make the drive down here for a few months, so we had been going up to Santa Rosa to them, but then Mia didn't want to drive that far with Nova. Annoying. I just wanted us to all have a nice family evening twice a month. Why was that so much to ask?
I started thinking we should have run halfway there, but I managed to avoid complaining. Everyone in this car was just as excited. This was Lukas's first biological grandchild in a thousand years. He had been excited for Nova, but this had to be even more meaningful for him. I brought that up, and he confirmed it, making me settle down.
Still, his impatience showed when he took the first parking spot he saw. We all ran as fast as we could for the door. My mom and Eva had beaten us there, and Freyja came running up, her red pigtails flying behind her, and launched herself at Lukas first.
“Still laboring?” I asked. Mom and Charlie nodded while Lukas picked up our cheerfully chattering six-year-old. I turned to Zaria's parents, sitting in the chairs and watching Freyja with a smile. Zaria's aunt was on her phone.
“Hey, Keona, Mack,” I greeted, quickly echoed by everyone who had come in with me. Keona got up to hug everyone, and I shook Mack's hand. “Hey, Christina.”
“Hey, Zack,” she said, giving me a quick smile before resuming her conversation.
Little by little, the family came back together. Toby shocked me when he came bursting through the door.
“I hopped a plane when Jules pulled our bond a couple hours ago. Didn't even check my texts first. Thought I'd surprise you,” he explained as he thumped into me in a big hug and pounded my back. I looked up at him and smiled. He'd gotten that last inch he wanted and was 6'2” now. “Did I beat Mia?”
“Yep,” Eva confirmed. “But she's got a toddler and further to travel. I just ran. Our parents drove up.”
“It was a twenty minute drive,” I said, rolling my eyes at her echoing my own impatience. Eva grinned as though she saw right through me. She probably did.
“Cavemen,” Toby teased, finishing up the rounds of hugs with Freyja.
“Is he here?” Mia called, rushing through the door with Nova on her hip. Nova's blue-green eyes narrowed at the crowd, and she buried her face against her mom's chest, presenting us with her tiny brown pigtails, a miniature copy of her aunt's.
“Not yet,” I said, shaking my head. I was the closest to the door, so I got the first hug again, carefully avoiding Nova. She'd say hi when she was ready. Harley came through toting the diaper bag, so I hugged him next.
“Blah, even you had time to put on makeup,” Mia complained to Toby, who laughed.
“I was on a date when Jules activated the sib-signal,” he explained. “I'm going to be wrecked for the tournament tomorrow.”
“Like you're not going to suck down an energy drink ten minutes before like you always do,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“I'mma sleep, like, twenty hours afterwards. At least it's not until the afternoon.” Toby stuck his tongue out at Nova and then spun around like he didn't want her to see him. I saw her crack a smile. I heard loud vocalizations coming from down the hall and went to sit down so I wasn't hovering.
“How do you think Jules is holding up?” I asked Jamie.
“He's really good at being there for others no matter what they're going through,” she commented, and I nodded agreement. “Going off those sounds, Zaria's pushing.”
“Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Julian had to step outside the building when you were at the pushing phase with Freyja.”
“I'm his mom.” Jamie chuckled. “It's not like he was a member of my support team.”
We both stopped to stare at the hallway to the birthing rooms when Zaria let out a particularly loud roar. Jamie caught my hand on one side and Lukas on the other. Sarah stopped talking to Eva and Mia to turn to the hall. Eva and Toby looked with her. Freyja froze and turned with everyone else who wasn't human. The humans were staring at us in confusion, except Mack, who had followed our gazes, but we were focused on listening for...
A baby started crying. It was much quieter than Zaria had been, so the dhampir all looked like they were straining a bit to listen.
“Baby!” Freyja shouted. Nova jumped up and ran back to Mia from the toys she had been playing with in the corner, startled by her aunt's outburst.
“The baby's here?” Keona asked Jamie.
“Unless someone else had one first, yes!” Jamie said excitedly. We all started chattering excitedly, except Lukas, who had a death grip on my hand. I held his back and left him alone to stress out. Acknowledging it might only upset him more, and he couldn't help it. He'd been nervous when Nova came, too, but Mia had wanted her moms in the room, so Jamie was able to come out and reassure him immediately that she was perfect. Zaria only wanted Julian and her best friend. I could hear the baby crying healthily and wasn't worried.
“Vati,” Toby said, turning to Lukas, his eyes a little unfocused. “Jules says 'he's perfect, and Zaria's doing great.'”
Lukas sagged against me as the stress left him. I put my arm around his shoulders and kissed his head. Toby smiled and walked over to Garret to chat with him. Toby was the only one of our kids who could hear Julian, and he could only do it when they were close enough together. Their gifts complimented each other. Julian could hear Toby's thoughts when directed at him, too. He had to touch anyone else for that.
Two by two, we were called back to the room, starting with Keona and Mack and followed by Lukas and Jamie. Sarah and I were next. Julian was sitting in the queen sized bed next to Zaria, who hardly looked like someone who'd just birthed the tiny human being Julian was holding. Zaria was eating a burrito the size of her head and making happy noises at it, making me chuckle as I remembered Sarah inhaling french fries after Eva was born.
I let Sarah go first, watching her squee and coo with fondness. I remembered to pull out my phone and take a picture after watching Julian do the same.
“His name is Isaac Nelson,” Julian told us, and my eyes burned. A small ache settled in that we were done having babies together, maybe forever. I was looking forward to time without kids after Freyja grew up, but I realized I wanted another baby with Sarah specifically some day. Finally, it was my turn to perch on the bed next to Julian and take my new grandbaby.
“He's beautiful,” I whispered as a little, soft, light russet-brown hand wrapped around my finger. He grunted and stared up at me with his huge dark mahogany eyes. Vernix-waxed black hair was plastered to his still-conical head. His tiny hand squeezed my finger, and I wiggled my hand. “Hi, Isaac. Hey. I'm Grandpa Zack.”
“He likes your voice,” Julian said, startling me. “He isn't sure about all these faces, but your voice has been his favorite since mine and his mom's.”
“Oh, you poor baby. Your dad is going to know everything before you do,” I said, chuckling sympathetically as a tear made a cold track down my face. Julian, Sarah and Zaria all laughed. Isaac just watched me. I felt the tiniest tug to him, like I had with Freyja, and looked at Zaria in confusion.
“You're human, aren't you?” I asked.
“My dad's a dhampir,” she answered. “So, only mostly. Why?”
“I felt...”
“Yeah, he's been bonding to all the vampires since you started coming in,” Julian confirmed, setting his phone down. “Vati and Mom didn't notice. Did you?”
“No,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “Zack's the one who Toby got the strong bond feel from.”
“Yeah, I bet he carries the gifted gene. Probably a recessive, which is why Dad and Mom aren't gifted,” Julian mused.
“Wait. Are you saying Little Zac's gonna be like you?” Zaria asked Julian. I lost it and buried my face against the side of Isaac's head.
“I told you not to call him that in front of Dad until he was recovered from meeting him,” Julian said. Isaac grumbled, so I pulled back to kiss his forehead and hand him back to Sarah. I wiped my face. “We kicked around Michael, but Toby and Mia both said they'd called it. So whichever one of them gets a son first gets the Michael. We were actually going to go with Luke until we saw him. He doesn't look like a Luke. Maybe a Mike? Eh. Zac it is.”
“I didn't know Toby was planning on kids,” I said.
“Me, either,” Sarah said.
“He's probably already got one,” Julian muttered, and Sarah raised an eyebrow at him.
“Care to share with the class?” Sarah asked. Julian shrugged.
“Two of his exes are pregnant. One might be his,” Julian said.
“Billie's,” I said, remembering him talking to me about it. “Something about rejecting her implant.”
“He never said anything to me!” Sarah sulked. She looked down at Isaac. “You don't be like your Uncle Toby. Or Great-Uncle Tony. Be like your daddy.”
“I mean, Toby's stayed in contact with her,” I pointed out. “She just didn't like the touring lifestyle.”
“Well, between the gaming and his band, that's kinda expected,” Sarah said, raising her own eyebrows.
“I cannot figure out how he bounces from woman to woman,” Julian said, shaking his head. “I would be a mess.”
“So would I,” Zaria said with a laugh after finishing a long drink of her water. “I'm not great with the sharing.”
“Well, lucky you, you got the monogamous brother,” Julian said before kissing her. Zaria looked over at Isaac as he started fussing, and Sarah passed him back without a word.
“Okay, you, let's try this again,” she said and then gave Sarah and me a meaningful look. We took the hint. We both smiled and wished them well on the way out. “Send the midwife in to help?”
“No problem,” I said right before shutting the door. Sarah got the midwife's attention and sent her in, never letting go of my hand. I squeezed hers and pulled her close, thanking God for her yet again. That clumsy boy on a bus 35 years ago had no idea that he'd found his whole future when he met her eyes. I nuzzled her, my heart full to bursting. Then I remembered that Garret was about to start having babies, so our house would be full of them again and wondered if I couldn't convince Sarah after all. We could get a human surrogate if Jamie couldn't do it again. I looked down to find her staring at me, spacing out.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“I was just thinking how grateful I was that you're a klutz,” she said, and I laughed loudly enough to startle poor Nova back to her mom again. This time, she'd been playing with Freyja, so I started to feel extra bad until she noticed it was me and ran over to hug my leg. I patted her back happily before she bounced to Sarah for a hug.
“Gamma!” she called out, holding her arms up.
“Nova!” Sarah replied before scooping her up and turning back to me. “I meant—”
“I had just been thinking how grateful I was that I was a klutz, too,” I explained, and she laughed, which made Nova laugh, reminding me of how Toby laughed every time anyone else did at her age, and I joined in. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” she said and went up on tiptoe for a kiss, balancing against me with her shoulder and twisting so Nova wasn't squished between us. “Jamie's declaration that we're done just got blown out of the water by Clara.”
“So, you're saying you want me to give you a baby?” I teased, and she laughed even harder.
“Oh, so that's what you were thinking about,” she said. Nova climbed down. “Another Eva? Yikes.”
“Excuse you!” Eva called out, interrupting her conversation with Toby. “I am delightful, and you would be blessed to have another of me, which is impossible because I am one of a kind. You can't duplicate this greatness. You'll just get another Toby.”
“Hey!” Toby protested. “I 'always contribute in unique ways.' It was in more than one progress report.”
“They're competing to see who's better birth control,” I commented, making every vampire except Eva laugh loudly. Eva flipped me off, and I returned the gesture. Sarah swatted the air above my hand.
“Freyja is right there!” Sarah admonished us. Freyja looked up in confusion from where she was making a stuffed bunny dance with a plastic dinosaur for Nova.
“What?”
“Nothing, sweetie,” Sarah said. “Just telling Daddy to behave.”
“Wait, were you two talking about having another kid?” Mia asked. “Hello. We're giving you grandchildren here!”
“Hey, Garret's the one about to start the baby train,” I pointed out. Mia, Toby, and Eva all turned to Garret as one.
“Who?” they said in unison.
“Well, no babies yet, but I asked Clara to marry me,” he said, slightly flustered, which made me grin.
“And promised to give them to her,” I added. Garret nodded.
“Goddammit,” Toby swore.
“Hey!” Freyja snapped at him. “I'm right here!”
Everyone burst out laughing at that, which had clearly been Freyja's goal, going off the smug look on her face.
“Now why are you swearin'?” Garret asked Toby.
“I thought you weren't ever getting married,” Toby grumbled.
“You're twenty-two years old. Why does it matter if I get married now? Not like I did it when you were still growin' up, like?”
“It's contagious!” he complained. “I need wedding-be-gone spray.”
“I'm not getting married,” Eva pointed out.
“You haven't had a long term relationship in your life,” Toby said, rolling his eyes.
“You don't have to marry Billie,” I said. Toby turned to me with wide eyes and shook his head emphatically.
“Billie?” Jamie, Eva, Garret and Lukas asked together. Toby dropped to the ground where he was and buried his face against his knees.
“Da-a-a-a-d! Why do you have the biggest mouth ever?” he whined at his knees.
“But you broke up months ago—oh.” Jamie made the connection first. “Oh. Oh, Toby.”
“Ahh. Grandbabies,” Eva said. “Ha ha! I don't have to worry about that! Joiner.”
“Why won't the ground swallow me?” Toby muttered into his knees.
“Why not?” Freyja asked Eva.
“I'm a vampire. No babies for me,” Eva answered. “Mama and Mom had to work really hard for you. Nope. Never. Not even a little bit interested. I have the best permanent birth control.”
“Doesn't work for cis male vampires,” Toby complained. “And I don't want it to be permanent. I just don't want to settle down with a family any time in the next few decades.”
“Decades?” Charlie asked, looking startled.
“Dhampir live a lot longer than humans,” I answered. “Toby's already showing signs he's not aging normally anymore. He slowed down around seventeen. He might still be biologically seventeen.”
“I stopped at twenty,” Mack spoke up, and we all turned to him. He smiled. “I'm pushing sixty.”
“The beard hides it pretty well,” Christina commented, looking over at him. He rubbed his beard, smiling. Keona kissed his cheek.
“But you aren't stopped. I'd say you're up to twenty-five under that,” Keona said. He chuckled.
“Just what me and my dhampir friends always called it,” he said, taking her hands in his.
“Yeah, we call it that, too,” Toby mumbled.
“Has Julian stopped? I can't even tell his age looking at him,” Mack asked, giving Lukas a hard look. “You two could be twins.”
“I was around his age when I died,” Lukas said. “But it is difficult to say. I believe he stopped around twenty-one.”
“I was twenty-one!” Eva declared brightly.
“When you died,” Toby said, rolling his eyes.
“More unfair crap from my little brothers,” Mia grumbled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “They won't age. Little jerks got taller than me before they were grown up and now they get to be young for decades.”
“Nothing making you stay human,” Eva said.
“Wanting to stay human is making me stay human,” Mia replied. “Vampire lives are too scary.”
“Sorry about that,” I said and walked over to sit next to her. She leaned away from Harley to rest against my shoulder, and I put my arm around her.
“Wait. Whose turn is it to go back?” Mia asked.
“Me and Dad number three,” Christina answered. “When do we get to go back?”
“That's Da,” Toby supplied, grinning.
“Didn't confuse you none?” Christina asked Toby, and he shook his head.
“Vati, Dad, Da. I picked up his accent a bit when I was a kid, and that was confusing,” Toby said, laughing. “When I was three, I got mad narked when I asked Dad for a biscuit and he gave me an American biscuit. He knew what I wanted.”
“I did, and you weren't getting a cookie after throwing your biscuit in my face,” I said while Mia shook me with her laughter. “Garret got such a kick out of you using his words for things. If it wasn't for Doctor Who, Kipper and Peppa Pig, I would have been a lot more confused. I got my kicks from deliberately getting you what you were asking for. Like the light up torch for your birthday when you really wanted your own flashlight.”
“That torch was so cool and worked for what I wanted that I couldn't even be mad,” Toby said, still laughing. “I picked up on the joke by the time I was five.”
“No one answered my question. Figures I get stuck with the group of ADHD vampires,” Christina said, making us all laugh.
“Sorry,” Sarah said, looking up from her phone. “Zaria is taking a nursing break before calling anyone else back.”
“What's his name, then?” Christina asked.
“Nope, you get to find that out the same way the rest of us did,” Keona said quickly.
“That's not fair! You found out first!” her sister complained.
“I know what it is,” Toby said, looking smug.
“Don't you dare,” Keona said, pointing at him. He grinned.
“I won't! I'm not the bigmouth,” he said, shooting me a dirty look. I shrugged.
“Sorry,” I said, not really sorry. I had had to sit on that too long as it was. Also, I knew he didn't want to be the one to tell his moms. I could be the bad guy for him.
“How do you know?” Christina asked.
“Julian keeps thinking it over and over. He can't stop. It's like a siren blaring down our bond,” Toby said. Christina stared at him blankly.
“You're... telepathic?”
“No, but he is a little. What I have is... hard to explain. I'm gifted, though, and what I can do piggybacks on what he can do. And not just him! If I try really hard...” Toby turned and stared at the stack of baby blocks in the corner. He moved onto his knees and clenched his fists. Shaking, he held one hand out toward the blocks. It lifted off the pile and spun in the air. I remembered the first time he'd borrowed from Garret's gift and how it had shocked Garret so badly that he'd blown out all the lights in the room pulling the telekinesis back away from Toby. It had developed on his twenty-first birthday. He'd gotten drunk and started joking that since he could use Julian's gift, he could use anyone's. It was diluted, so the baby block was all he could really lift.
“That was mine he just hijacked,” Garret said, holding up his hand. He smirked and then the block went hurtling at Toby, who shrieked and ducked, covering his head with both arms. It stopped half a foot away and spun in the air, nowhere near hitting him. The parts of the room not staring in shock were laughing. Unable to resist, I reached over and grabbed a second block and lobbed it at Garret's. I grinned at the successful clack when it connected.
“No throwing things inside!” Mia, Jamie and Sarah all yelled at me at the same time. I jumped, startled and half-guilty. Freyja pointed at me and laughed.
“Garret caught it!” I pointed out as both blocks floated back and settled down in front of a delighted Nova.
“What else can you do?” Christina asked, wide eyes fixed on Toby. I noticed they were the same color as Isaac's. Keona's were a cooler-toned brown.
“No one else here is gifted,” I said.
“I can't really show it off, but I can get stronger pulling on my other dads,” Toby said. “I can bench seven hundred if either of them is there. By myself, I can only do three hundred.”
“You can bench three hundred pounds? You aren't half that!” Christina shook her head in disbelief.
“Mack can press almost five hundred,” Keona said. Christina spun to look at her brother-in-law. He nodded.
“Well, he's swole. The kid isn't,” Christina said. Toby shrugged.
“I'm one-seventy, by the by,” Toby said. I frowned.
“You look bigger than I did at one-seventy, and you're two inches taller than me,” I commented.
“Don't look at me,” he said, shrugging. “I've tried to put on muscle, but I have to bench three hundred to build up anything, and it's too much hassle. Julian eats a whole cow a week to stay that big.”
“Oh, he does not,” Jamie said, laughing. “Sure felt like you both did in high school, though. And he does fine with climbing and hiking. He hasn't had to do any lifting.”
“I guess Vati's got better muscle genetics than Dad, then,” Toby said with a shrug. “You know I'm just as active.”
“Dance doesn't build the same muscles,” Garret pointed out.
“I climb and hike with Jules every summer!” Toby protested.
“He does it all year,” Garret returned.
“Too. Much. Hassle,” Toby reiterated. “And I don't need it. I'm hot just the way I am.”
“I'm so glad our children all came out with healthy egos,” Jamie said, rolling her eyes. I laughed so hard that Mia pushed me away while she laughed.
“And looking like movie stars,” Eva agreed, making me laugh harder.
“Looking like?” Mia tossed out. “How many movies have you been in now?”
“I haven't been a star,” Eva said. “Yet. Gimme time.”
“She's right, though,” Harley said, pulling Mia close to look at her until she blushed. “Definitely movie star beautiful.”
“Oh, hush,” she said, bright red but grinning.
“And brilliant, talented, golden-hearted,” he nuzzled her neck, and I got up to go back to Sarah and give him space to keep telling my daughter how wonderful she was. I smiled at him so he knew I approved and that I wasn't moving out of discomfort, but he wasn't seeing anyone but Mia. Nova noticed and got up to run headlong into her parents' cuddle.
“Hug Nova!” she yelled, and they obediently pulled her into their arms and started plying her with compliments and kisses.
“Hug Freyja?” Freyja grinned at me and Sarah, so we laughed and indulged her. She looked over at Lukas and Jamie. “Hey! I made a request over here! You, too, Da!”
The other three got up, laughing hard, and came over to make a big cuddle huddle with her at the center.
I couldn't wait to see how much more love and happiness our family was going to grow by.
