Sleepy

Sleepy

I want to close my eyes

If I lift my body

from the ground

it'll be quiet

It takes a hundred tries

but I just sink

until I'm found

by the mushrooms

growing up

from my fingers

to taste the air

I don't remember

nothing lingers

except me

 

LH Short Story: Emidio and Paula

 

Lost Humanity Short Story

This story is provided for free by H.S. Kallinger as part of the Lost Humanity universe.
Timing: during World of Lost Souls the summer after Eva's 13th birthday
Content Warnings: none. this is fluff

Emidio and Paula

“I don't know if I've ever thanked you guys for the opportunities you give to Eva,” I said to Paula. Eva was finishing up her rounds, having chosen to celebrate finally kicking the crud that had hit everyone on Julian's birthday and then hers by visiting San Francisco. As soon as she was done, we were headed home so we could rest while Sarah and Jamie prepared for their wedding ceremony next weekend. “I know Lukas did, but I wanted you to know that we all appreciate it.”

“And as my husband said, it is good to be friends,” Paula replied with a smile. “Evangeline is such a delightful girl. I do not know that I shall ever tire of having her here.”

“I believed that when she was ten. I'm not sure I believe that about thirteen-year-old Eva,” I said, making everyone laugh. Emidio shook his head.

“Paula was a wonderful thirteen-year-old,” Emidio said, reaching his hand out to take his wife's. She shook her head and laughed derisively.

“My father disagreed,” she said, catching my interest. I hadn't heard either of them talk much about their lives as humans. “Particularly as that was the year that I met you, love.”

“I was a terrible influence; it's true,” Emidio said, his eyes growing sad. “I am uncertain if your father was right to hate me so, though. Had I not been there, you would have been denied centuries of life.”

“Ah, but he would have been foolish enough to believe that this was not 'life,'” she said.

“And so, had I not been there, you would have married that awful senator, borne him children, and lived long enough to perhaps see your sons die in the Civil wars of the Tetrarchy. But it would have been in the east, with far more than I could have offered,” he continued.

“You do realize that you are going to give us the story, right?” Sarah prompted when Paula murmured something in Latin to Emidio. They turned to us, and Emidio chuckled.

“I was the same class as she and her father, but he had secured a better marriage for her when she was a baby to the son of a man who had loved her mother but was forbidden from marrying her by his own father,” Emidio said. “She would have been swept away to Constantinople, which was another world from Rome. We were under constant attack, our people starving, wasting time building only to have it struck down in another invasion. He was near the emperor and surrounded by security and food and wealth. Even still, I couldn't let him have her. I fell in love with her the day we met.”

“And I with him,” Paula agreed. “My father wasn't home that day, I remember. We didn't live near any of the ugliness of the war, and we ourselves were not starving. I was outside, enjoying the sun when the most beautiful boy I'd seen in my life came running over the hill and tripped over his own feet.”

Emidio laughed heartily. “I had just seen you! I was trying to stop to stare, but my feet betrayed me. They were at the end of legs too long for the rest of my body, and I cannot imagine anyone thinking that I was anything but lanky and awkward. But my Paula—the sun was glinting off her hair as though there were threads of gold woven into it. I could just see her eyes, the color of the ocean in places calmer than my new home in Rome. Her beauty was unquestionable.”

“My mother's beauty was the reason I was promised to the senator,” Paula said softly. “I ran to Emidio right away, worried that he was hurt. He stared at me with his mouth hanging open, and I think a bug flew in.”

“It did not!” he protested, and we all laughed. “It did dry out terribly, though.”

“I helped him stand and had to stop myself from reaching out to touch his curls. They were the prettiest shade of white-gold. I had seldom seen hair stay so bright after infancy, and I was entranced. His eyes were the color of the sky, and for a moment, I thought perhaps he was an angel fallen to the earth who had never walked before.”

“I, too, thought I had found an angel when she held her hand out to pull me to my traitorous feet,” he said. He kissed her hands, and they rested their foreheads against each other. “We were just children, still, and we played as children. Her father tried to chase me off, but he spent most of his time in his dormus, while his wife and daughters lived in their villa, close enough to my family's that I only lost access to her in town.”

“So, your family was wealthy, too?” Sarah asked. Emidio nodded.

“Yes. My father was an equestrian, and he expected me to follow in his footsteps eventually. It's what lead to my death. A Persian vampire caught me unaware with his blade. I didn't really understand that I'd been killed, even looking at the bloody weapon and his cold eyes. I remember vividly how they changed as I touched my chest, confused about the pain and why I suddenly couldn't move. I believe I saw regret. He put his blood on my lips.

“The next thing I knew, I was alone in an abandoned tent, my pain was gone, and it was just after sunset. I was frightened. I remembered that we weren't far from Paula's villa, so I went looking for her first, rather than my unit.”

“Oh no,” I said softly. I knew this part. Emidio nodded.

“I had heard from his mother that he'd been slain,” Paula said softly. “When I saw him, I thought for a moment that there had been a mistake. I ran to him, already making plans to rush to show his mother that he was still alive.”

“I ran to her even faster,” Emidio said. He touched her face gently. “In the last steps, I... I'm still not certain. I lost my mind, and when it returned, she was soft, too soft. I couldn't feel heat from her body, though I was burning. Her beautiful eyes were closed and wouldn't look at me. A slave found us, and I'm afraid I killed the poor man before he could sound an alarm. It was too much, and I threw up his blood all over him. I remember thinking how I hated men who ate until they vomited.”

“I had a breakdown because I fought my mentors to try to have sex with my first donor,” I said. “I was so upset at the thought that I'd try to rape someone...”

“One small favor I was granted was that my beloved and I were already secret lovers,” Emidio said. “When I came to visit at sixteen, though she was still fifteen, always two months behind me. It was the same that night. I had just turned twenty.”

“I—I knew you looked young, but I didn't think you were that young,” I said.

“You were just kids,” Sarah said at the same time. Paula smiled at her.

“You still are,” she teased. I laughed.

“I awoke to my darling lover's sobbing,” Paula said. “I sat up and took his hand to bid him tell me what was wrong. The last thing I remembered was his lips and body and feeling so alive and wonderful as we were reunited.”

“I was mad and believed her a hallucination. Yes, I'd put my blood to her lips, as the Persian soldier had done for me, but she didn't wake up. I had no idea three nights had passed, and I didn't know much about vampires anyway. I carried her body with me, hoping to die, forced to keep my wretched self alive, and when she asked me what was wrong, I simply answered, 'I have killed you, and I wish only to join you, my love.'”

“I was quite alive and assumed that he'd had a nightmare. I kissed him and told him that he was wrong, look at how alive I was!” Paula ran her fingers through his hair. “He cried like a child and told me all he knew of what had happened. Unlike him, I knew many stories of vampires, so I knew what we were.”

“She had the brilliant plan to find enemy encampments and hunt together, and so we survived until we could better control ourselves. We eventually found a priest to marry us, even without our parents' blessings, and we have never parted since,” Emidio said. “Years became decades became centuries. Rome burned and fell around us, but we persisted. The Kingdom of Italy rose, and we became Italians. We traveled some, but we generally favored home. I particularly liked feeding on priests of the Inquisition.”

“And I liked feeding on those who hunted other humans at night—or worse, in the day, falsely accusing innocents of sins to hide their own,” Paula said. Emidio stared at her with adoration. I found myself smiling, too. That sounded like what I'd have preferred to do in times when killing was a necessary evil. I'd have been to terrified of going to Hell to ever feed on a priest. It fascinated me that Emidio had essentially made the opposite choice to my husband. Lukas spared holy leaders.

“So, you've never been apart in seventeen hundred years?” Sarah asked. They shook their heads.

“Not when we could help it. The first day we spent apart, I thought I would go mad again,” Emidio said.

“I wept. I couldn't believe we had truly been kept from one another,” Paula said.

“Did you ever wish you could have a family?” Sarah asked. Paula looked at her and cocked her head to the side.

“You've met our family,” she said.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I—”

“To be entirely honest, I was always afraid of childbirth,” Paula said. “I had to terminate two pregnancies while I was alive, and I had no regrets. My greatest fear was dying to give that senator his legacy. I have never in my life regretted not being able to carry a child, no. We have always taken in those who need a family and looked after them. Usually they're already grown, but there have been children and even once a baby.”

“Our little Diana,” Emidio said. They smiled together, their eyes sparkling. “She was such a precious little jewel. So clever and talented.”

“She lived a good, long life, and left us with grandchildren who we watched grow and go out into the world,” Paula said.

“So, the neighborhood is your family?” I mused.

“Indeed. Each child here is ours. Even Eva. I would destroy any fool that dared try to harm her while she is among our people. Then I would bring them back to destroy them again,” Emidio said darkly. Paula chastised him in Latin. He didn't look at all chastened. He took her hands and smiled smugly while he replied. We couldn't follow whatever they said.

“You two are so inspiring and hopeful,” Sarah said quietly. They stopped and turned to her. “It's wonderful to know that it's possible to enjoy someone's company for thousands of years.”

“We have our tiffs, like any couple, but we resolve them as quickly as we can. I can't bear for her to be angry at me,” Emidio said. Paula nodded.

“Even if we ultimately don't agree, we find a way to hear one another and accept the disagreement,” she said. “Sometimes it will resolve later. Sometimes it never does. But we do not dwell on them, and we don't rehash them unless we're interested in changing our own views. Never each other's.”

“And we never miss an opportunity to remind each other that we still are in love,” Emidio said.

“And we find plenty of things to entertain us so we don't drive each other up the wall,” Paula added playfully. They both laughed. Paula leaned against Emidio and smiled at us. “Building family is essential. Love them with all your heart while you have them. Carry their stories and spirits with you forever.”

“In sharing, amplify all good things,” Emidio said.

“And diminish the bad,” Paula added. “Bear it together, and the more who help carry it, the lighter the load.”

“Which now includes you and your little one, dear friends,” Emidio said. My heart swelled.

“Mom, Dad! I'm ready to go!” Eva called from the front door. I held my arm out, and she walked over to accept a side hug and return it. She spoke to Emidio and Paula in Italian for a moment, and then we all bid each other good night.

And a good night it was.

Devouring

why am I listening

like this

when I have this

and the dark on my side

through your thickening

abyss

so hit-or-miss

finding its way inside

inside you

inside me

taking over you

devouring me

it's just another wave

crashing over

this wall

it's just another way

it's over

for us all

(cry out]

(give in) 

it's just another thing

pushing over

your soul

another way to sing

give over

your control

(cry out)

(give up)

(now it's) inside you

(now it's) inside me

taking over you

devouring me

can you still fall apart

like this

when you have this

and the cold on your side

give a brokenhearted

kiss

things dangerous

will find their way inside

inside you (cry out)

inside me (give in)

taking over you (screaming)

devouring me (give in)

it's just another wave

crashing over

this wall

it's just another way

it's over

for us all

Lost Humanity Series Order

Lost Humanity series:

1. Hotel of Lost Souls
2. Pet
3. Bridges
4. Predators
5. Castles
6. World of Lost Souls
7. Lost Stories (coming in 202?)

Short Stories:

Am I the Asshole?

Sarah

Deck the Halls (not your loved one)

Dad

Chain of Command

Indigo

Emidio and Paula

Garret

Military Musings

Pandemic

Aria

Leandra*

Vampire Daughter

Goddesses

Growing Family (a novella)

Pride

Centuries Later*

 

​

Click here for Content Notes for the series

* Unpublished (these links will be updated as the stories are published)

Lost Humanity Series: Content Warnings

Lost Humanity Series
by H.S. Kallinger

Content Notes: police, alcohol, drugs, assault (physical and sexual), addiction, trauma bonding, abusive relationships, violence, death, intimate partner violence, ableist language, homophobic slurs, suicidal ideation/attempts, self-injury, disordered eating, torture., vampire-human age gaps, kink, BDSM, human trafficking, slavery, racism, queerphobia/homophobia.

Notes: This series deals with cycles of abuse and domestic violence. There is on page 'dubcon' (coerced) assault, but no on page rape. There is the psychological fallout from it. Healthy BDSM (RACK model) is included and contrasted against unhealthy/toxic (also on page) sadomasochism. Vampires in this series produce an euphoric chemical in their saliva that can lead to physical addiction.

Book specific extra CNs: pregnancy loss in Pet and Bridges. On page sexual assault in Hotel of Lost Souls and Castles. On page judicial flogging in Castles and World of Lost Souls.