The following content is provided for free as a sample of Vampire Wolf, the third book in Found Humanity series, by H.S. Kallinger. Please feel free to share this page, but be kind and don't copy and paste the text elsewhere.
Vampire Wolf
H.S.
Kallinger
A novel of Found
Humanity
Book 3
This is a sequel. The
following book contains strong language, suicidal ideation, depictions of
violence, self-injury, sex, (unplanned) pregnancy, kink, mental illness,
intimate partner violence, age gaps, body modifications, disordered eating,
LGBTQIA-phobia, gender dysphoria, ableist language, infidelity, child
abandonment, and discussions of animal death (hunting for food), drinking and
drug use, child abuse, fatphobia, sexual assault, torture, judicial punishment,
underage sex, religion, bigotry, and racism. This is book three in the series.
Reader discretion is advised.
“Are you serious?” I asked, gaping at the two beautiful rings
on the table in front of me. One was almost a traditional gold men's wedding
band. It was wider than my dad's, but other than that, it was nearly
identical—except that it was pink. I had never seen rose gold this pink before.
I couldn't figure out how Lex had managed it.
Agleam on the dark wood next to it lay a
delicate silver ring with three dark pink oval stones. The band was carved with
dark diagonal stripes, reminiscent of leaves, and split right before the
stones. The settings around the stones looked like little silver gems.
“Look. I thought finding a pink ring would
be easy, and it turns out that most of the engagement rings are pink sapphires,
which are expensive. I know you're okay with silver, and that's the good
shit, stamped inside and everything, and the stones are rhodonite, which is a
mineral, and I know it's hokey or whatever, but I looked up the meaning, and
they're about good relationships and healing emotional scars, and... It's
cheap, I'll—”
I grabbed the ring before Jax could snatch
it away and shoved it on my finger. It slid on smoothly and snugged comfortably
into place. I pulled it back off and tried on the rose gold band. It also fit
perfectly. I wasn't sure how to wear them both, though.
“Perhaps mine should go on your right
hand,” Lex suggested.
“It's a wedding band,” I said.
“They both are. One is masculine, and one
is feminine. We didn't plan it that way, but it is fitting for you, yes?” Lex
asked. I nodded and tested the way they suggested.
“But shouldn't the masculine one go on the
left, then?” Jax asked. “Isn't that the masculine side or whatever?”
“That is precisely why he should wear it
on the right,” Lex said. “Not that superstitions such as that have any merit,
but in defiance of gender norms, which Gabby already does.”
“Oooh, I like that,” Jax said. I held up
my hands, freshly adorned and shiny, and they both smiled at me. They held out
their left hands for the jewelry I had set aside for this exchange. They'd both
refused to wear theirs until they'd had the chance to buy me one. So, now, I
finally got to put their rings on them. “Did I tell you enough times how much I
fucking love this ring?”
“I, too, adore mine,” Lex said, gazing at
the delicate ring with its center of glass-captured magic red and blue smoke
with a yellow fire line. “I feel what I got you was a mistake now.”
“It wasn't!” I argued. “You said the
traditional band was boring, but I like it. Hell, you got me a pink one.
How the hell did you get pink gold?”
“It was at a local jewelry store,” Lex
answered with a shrug. “I asked for rose gold men's rings, and when they pulled
that one out, in your size no less, it was too serendipitous to ignore.”
“You got it... at a... I mean, okay, this
is going to be my wedding band, too, so spending that much... How did you get
that kind of money?”
“It was only $500,” Lex said. Jax choked.
“Only? Oh, my god, Gabby, tell me
this ring didn't cost—”
“It didn't cost that much!” I said. “I can
afford to replace it if something happens. I promise. Again, I ask—”
“Oh. I told you that your father deposits
money into my account,” they said with a shrug. “More than I need, even though
I tell him it's too much. So, I put at least $100 away every month in savings.
I had plenty. When traveling, I rely heavily on invitations for food rather
than spending money whenever possible, and I don't pay for shelter. I earn both
food and shelter by entertaining people in various ways. Magic tricks, poetry
recitations, sex, et cetera. Nothing unethical.”
“My ring only cost—”
“The cost doesn't matter,” I interrupted
Jax, capturing their hand to squeeze it. “I love this. I promise. I've never
seen rhodonite before.”
“I looked for rose quartz, but all the
rings were huge. I liked the look of the raw stone best, but... I also looked
at cubic zirconia, but as pretty as it is, it was too polished. It wasn't what
I thought you should have. I wish I could have found that ring without tumbled
stones, but, again, they were too big at that point.”
“I bet they looked really cool,” I said.
“But you're right. I like the solid look of these. I'm not sure I'd like a
clear gem as much. If I'd gotten one, I probably would have wanted something
even gayer.”
“I did look at rainbow stones,” Jax said,
grinning. “But none of them looked as much like they belonged on you as this
one.”
I tugged them down into a kiss. They fell
onto my leg, and I cuddled them. I pulled away to look into their azure eyes. I
could easily see them both since they cut their hair short. They hadn't
replaced their eyebrow ring, but they'd added a nose ring.
“I love that you looked up the meaning,” I
said softly.
“Rose gold is a newer metal that was
originally called Russian gold, is also associated with love—as all
rose-related things are—and is considered gender neutral,” Lex piped up. I
grinned at them and held out my right hand to guide them onto my other leg and
kiss them, too.
“I love it. I'm really impressed with the
shade you found. Usually this much copper comes out with more of a smell to
it,” I said. They radiated happiness at me. Jax did as well. The ring exchange
had proceeded much better than the proposals, and I was glad. Jax kissed me
again right before the doorbell chimed. We sighed and touched our foreheads
together. “Have a good date.”
“Thanks.” They stood and gazed at me a
moment before leaving. Lex and I followed to stand in the kitchen doorway and
watch Jax open the door for Bobbi.
Bobbi was strawberry blonde with hooded,
woodsy brown eyes, freckles, and a tan. Her eyes spoke of something not-white
in her genealogy, but it was hard to say. We'd only met enough to know what
each other looked like and say hi. Jax kissed her, and then the two of them
turned to wave goodbye. We waved back, and off they went on their date.
Lex and I had our own date at home while
they were gone.
* * *
The summer passed indolently. Allison and
I went on regular dates again, and sometimes it was as if we'd never been separated.
Our college experiences had occurred thousands of miles apart in different
settings, and yet, we had more in common than ever. When she stayed over, Lex
left to find somewhere they could sleep with their wings out, but they never
seemed to mind.
I was tempted to tell Allison about them,
but it was too strange a story. It didn't even always seem real to me. Despite
Lex's insistence that I'd been the one to bridge our worlds, I couldn't repeat
it. We tried a few times, repeatedly ending in disappointment. I wasn't sure
what we would do if we succeeded. I just wanted the opportunity to find out.
Dan didn't make it three weeks before
calling me to fulfill our contract. He needed his first fix two days shy of that
goal. Our test of the shorter feed worked out beautifully. Great for me and
satisfying to his itch.
So, when he needed it the day before the
three-week mark the next time, I didn't refuse. We enjoyed another rapturous
feed that left me grateful I'd found him. I was running my hands through Dan's
hair, examining the blond showing through the fading teal, when raised voices
downstairs wrenched me out of our bliss. I frowned and sat up.
“What's wrong?” Dan asked. He was still
foggy from the comedown and afterglow.
“Jax is upset.” I swung my legs off the
bed and grabbed wipes to clean up quickly before pulling on a pair of boxer
briefs and running to the hall. I opened the door.
“...fine. I'm sorry I yelled. I got used
to thinking of this as my home and—”
“Jax, this is your home. I didn't
expect you to react so strongly. I thought you knew that—” Dad was also upset.
I hurried down the stairs to stand at the turn into the living room, where Jax
was facing my parents, whose expressions were baffled and worried.
“That you didn't really mean all that
stuff about always having a home here?” Jax said. I opened my mouth to ask what
the fuck was going on, but Dad continued.
“You have a home with us,” Dad
said. “We have no intention of leaving you behind! I thought you would be happy
to be closer to Gabby, too!”
“I'm not moving to California. I
appreciate everything you've done for me, but this was a mistake. Will you at
least hold off on selling the house until I can find a new place to live?”
“Of course,” Dad said softly. “I didn't
realize that you disliked it there so much.”
“I wasn't looking to relocate,” they said.
“I don't hate it there, except how easy it would be to fall into a false sense
of security like I did here.”
“It isn't false, honey,” Mom said, but Jax
was already storming off for the stairs. My stomach twisted in knots when their
stormy eyes met mine. My own tear ducts pricked in sympathy as much as
distress. They weren't going to stay with my parents?
“Jax, wait,” I said.
“No.” They stomped past me. I let them.
They froze in the bedroom door, mumbled an apology, and backed out. They turned
to glare down at me.
“You knew we were doing our feed,” I said,
holding my hands up.
“Why California?” they yelled. “Why did
you have to move as far away as you could, to the most expensive place you
could find?”
“New York would have been just as bad,” I
said.
They knew why I was there. I didn't pick
it for those reasons. I didn't pick it at all. I picked a school. I could have
ended up at KU. I'd applied as a backup. But it wouldn't have given me the
residency to reduce my tuition for UCSF.
“It's not as big! You can find affordable
housing within driving distance!”
“I didn't pick a state, Jax; I
picked a school.”
“Why?” they shrieked. “Why did you have to
be you? Why couldn't you have been a st—1 loser like me?”
“You're neither of those things,” I yelled
back, stopping myself from criticizing their language. “You're my fiancé! Did
you plan on that being in separate homes forever? Or just the next several
years?”
“Fiancé?” Both my parents repeated me. We
hadn't brought it up yet because I expected Mom to disapprove and Dad to be too
happy about it.
“Fuck it. Fuck you!” They ran down the
stairs for the front door, and I snapped. I ran full speed at the door without
thinking and slammed into it a second later, well ahead of them.
“No! Fuck you! Fuck you for not
trusting me, for not believing in me, for lying to me!” I screamed, stomping
toward them.
They shrunk back, stinking of terror, and
I stopped. They shook off the fear. Dad had stepped forward, his hand out.
“When have I lied?” they asked.
“You said you wanted to be my family, my
flock, my partner for life, my spouse!” I cried, my voice breaking. “But gods forbid
you have to suffer California for a few years to do it. To hell with it all if
you have to be in the same fucking state as me!”
“You're twisting everything!”
“Oh, like you weren't?” I gestured wildly
at the house.
The front door opened, and we both stopped
to watch Lex come in, their eyes glowing ever so slightly. Their wings were
out, which threw me. I'd never seen them risk the neighbors seeing them before.
They shut the door quickly. I turned back to Jax.
“If my parents decided to move to
California last year, I'd have gone with them because that's what family that
lives together does. I had no idea you were going to outright refuse to go. I
am willing to do the whole 'two weeks here, three months there' bullshit with
you because you are completely worth it, but if you're never going to be okay
with—”
“I hate this!” they screamed.
“I hate it, too!” I shouted back. “We
aren't going to fucking abandon you! You said my family's different, but when
it comes down to it, you still don't trust us. How can you want to marry me if
you don't fucking trust me?”
“This isn't a good way to have a
discussion,” Lex said softly.
“No, it isn't,” Dad agreed quickly.
“Everything's changing; everything's
getting fucked up,” Jax cried. “I finally had my life together!”
“It's still together,” I said, reaching
out for them. “It'll still be together in San Francisco. You can't even let me
take that one fucking burden from you as your husband?”
“No!” They jerked away from me. “I'm not a
child you need to take care of! I'm not going to stay home, puttering around in
an apron and—”
“I'd let you take the financial
burden if you were outearning me!” I said. They stopped shifting from foot to
foot and met my eyes. “I don't look at you as a child. I would take care
of you if you needed me, but that's not what I want. I have every intention of
being with you no matter how much we have or—that whole 'sickness and health,
richer or poorer' shit from wedding vows? I mean it.”
“But we'll always be 'poorer' out there,
and if you decide you made a mistake, what am I supposed to do? What do I have
if I build up all my supports in a city I can't afford to live in?” They
flailed their hands as they yelled.
“That's not going to happen,” Dad said.
“We will not allow you to—”
“What if something happens to you?” Jax
threw back. “Are you going to work the VU out there? What if you get killed by
a perp? What if you get killed by a cop? What—”
“Then you will inherit money from my life
insurance payout like any of my children,” he said, shaking his head.
Why the fuck would they bring that up? My
chest got tight with anxiety. I didn't give a fuck about his money.
“Why would you say that?” I shouted.
“You know how much I freak out about that! How can money be so fucking
important to you that it matters more than someone's life?”
“I wasn't thinking of it like that!” they
yelled. “People just fucking vanish, and—”
“No, they fucking don't!” I screamed, my
head spinning.
I recalled the victims on the news. I
remembered talking to Emidio about helping slaves, his work stopping humans
from trafficking them through his city when he could. People did just
vanish. My dad could just vanish. Mom, Jax, Allison, Lex, Tati, Ry, Dan, Jason,
Mira, Delaney, Steve, Maddie, Warren, anyone. Andria had. She'd just
moved and never looked back.
“Yes, they do!” Jax shrieked, and I
grabbed their arm.
“Gabby, stop!” Dad said. I wasn't the one
who needed the warning, though.
I saw Jax's other arm moving, but I didn't
register it until their hand made contact with my face. The impact and pain
staggered me. I touched my cheek, unable to believe they'd just hit me. Jax's
eyes were wide, tears streaming, their mouth open.
“Gabby—I'm sorry, I—”
“Fuck you,” I rasped. I raced up to my
room and threw myself at the dresser. Dan was curled up in the middle of my
bed, his face twisted in worry.
“Gabby? What's going on? Why is everyone
shouting?” He uncurled a little.
I ignored him as I threw on clothes.
Everything was spiraling. I had to get out of here. I had to get out. I had to.
“Gabriel?” Dad was at the bedroom door.
I ignored him, too, except to shove him to
the side as I bolted for the front door. Jax was curled around their knees on
the floor, sobbing hysterically. Their distress radiated from them like heat.
Mom was standing close to the front door, and she moved to block it when she
saw me coming.
“Move!” I yelled.
“It wasn't the right choice for Jax, and
it's not the right choice for you. We need to all sit down, calm down, and—”
“Easy enough for you,” I snarled. “Why the
fuck would you care if someone hits me with how much you have, huh?”
“Gabriel!” Dad sounded more shocked than
reproving. I spun in a helpless circle, feeling more and more trapped. I needed
to get the fuck out of here.
Lex was standing in the middle of the
room, trembling. They stared at Jax until my eyes reached them, and then they
turned to look at me. Their wings were still out and furled. Their eyes were on
fire. I looked down at the scar on my arm. Maybe I needed the same focus I'd
used before.
I pulled out the pocketknife I'd grabbed
with my wallet and cut a deep line into the pentacle. My wallet fell, but I
ignored it. I didn't have time for this.
“Gabriel Andrew, stop!” Dad's voice was
far away. My pulse filled my head. I slapped my right hand down against the
scar, smearing the welling blood all over it.
“Lexephorath!” I whispered. Lex vanished
to reappear in front of me, naked and kneeling.
“Yes, Master?” they asked. I flinched.
“Don't ever call me that again. You're my
fiancé, too.”
“Yes, Gabriel?”
“Get us the fuck out of here. Now.”
I felt something 'pop' inside me. I
couldn't have said where, exactly. The heat at the center of my body vanished, replaced
with bitter cold. I held my hands up and watched the blue flame from my mental
shield crackle into sparkling blue smoke and black lightning a split second
before everything went black.
Except Lex's burning eyes.
[1] Ableist language I think you can guess.
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| Gabby, art by rinmaru games |
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| Dan, art by rinmaru games |
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| Jax, art by rinmaru games |
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| Lex, art by rinmaru games |
Full book coming soon! https://hskallinger.weebly.com/found-humanity.html
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