Lost Humanity Short Story
Timing: after World of Lost Souls. After novelette Growing Family.
Content Warnings: none
Pride
“Is everyone ready?” I asked.
“I sure hope so. We are the Pride Parade,” Eva joked as she
finished tying Freyja's shoe.
“Freyja, you are eleven years old. You can tie your own shoes,”
Sarah said.
“Excuse you. I can spoil my sister however I want,” Eva said. “How
close to home is Vati?”
“He's...” I pulled up the location tracker on my phone. “Here.”
On cue, the front door opened, and Lukas stepped inside. I dropped
my phone. It landed on my foot, and I yelped.
“Shh! Dad!” Mia hissed. She clenched her teeth and checked on her
nephew Luke in his car seat. He was still asleep. Zaria sighed and shot me a
look. Little Zac mirrored it next to her. I mouthed an apology.
“Babies sleep better if there's a lot of noise,” Sarah commented.
“Constant noise. Not sudden shouting,” Jamie said. “Although I
have to admit—I wasn't expecting this.”
“Expecting wha—Vati what did you do to your hair?” Eva exclaimed.
“I told you that I had a haircut scheduled,” he said. He lifted
his hand and barely touched the spiked strip of hair running down the center of
his head.
“Great. Two of my dads look younger than me now,” Mia
grumbled as she adjusted Nova's pigtails. Nova batted her hands away and
complained that she wasn't a baby anymore.
“I can't help it, love. You saw my attempt at a beard,” Garret
said.
“Oh, it was awful. Please never do that again. I don't know why
you all have to change things so much. Is it so much to ask that you just pick
a style and maintain it for the rest of my life?” she joked. Mostly. Eva
started singing the chorus of David Bowie's 'Changes,' and Mia didn't hesitate
to pick up a throw pillow and lob it directly in her face. She was so busy
singing that she didn't block it in time.
“Mom!” Eva whined.
“Don't hit your sister,” Sarah reprimanded in the midst of
snickering.
“Why do you never warn us when you've decided you want to look
like a teenager again?” I asked Lukas, finally having recovered from the shock
of seeing him in a mohawk.
“It is more fun for me to see your face,” he answered.
“Okay, van's loaded up,” Julian said from the front door. “Looks
good, Vati.”
“Danke,”
Lukas replied.
“Toby's going to scream,” Eva said.
“Is that new?” Mia asked. “Speaking of new. We finally get
to meet his boyfriend.”
“It's about time,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“How long have they been going out now?” Zaria asked as she picked
up the baby car seat. Julian hurried over to take it from her, and she picked
up the diaper bag and grabbed Little Zac's hand.
“A year,” most of us answered at the same time. Jamie continued,
“I can't believe I haven't seen my son in over a year.”
“Same,” I said. “Except on stream, and I'm competing with umpteen
fans to talk. Or the concert broadcasts. This is the longest he's been away
from California. He usually comes home a few times per tour. I'm glad he's
doing what he loves, though.”
“I'm glad he's found someone willing to drop their life and tour
with him,” Jamie said. “That's incredibly rare, and he really doesn't handle
being alone well. I didn't expect it to be a man, though! He only came out two
years ago.”
“Remember when he insisted he wasn't into dudes?” Eva asked. Mia
rolled her eyes.
“He needed a good rebellion, and his was pretending to be
straight,” I joked.
“Sorry you ended up with a boy,” Harley said to Mia. She chuckled
and kissed him.
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” she said over Freyja
declaring that boys were gross and that she was definitely marrying a girl.
Jamie high-fived her.
“Or doesn't,” Eva chirped. “Romantic love isn't the end all and be
all of life experiences.”
“I don't want to hear that from you. How many times have you been
in love and had the world end when it was over?” Mia asked.
“Too many,” I said with Eva. She stuck her tongue out at me. “But
I support my gray-romantic Da.”
“Ta,” Garret said.
“Have you all decided not to go?” Clara called from the door.
“Oi! Don't leave the bairn in the car alone!” Garret said and
pushed through the room as Clara rolled her eyes.
“I wouldn't do that,” she said. “He is anxious to get
going, though. Aria is with him.”
“Ah,” he said. He stopped at the door and pulled her into a kiss.
He kept his hand on her belly as he stepped back. Liam was three, and they were
expecting another boy. There had been a lot of drama and panic attacks after
Clara's ultrasound with Liam, but Garret was doing a lot better this pregnancy.
The nightmares about Justin, his abusive sire, hadn't returned.
“Stop blocking the doorway, please,” Mia said. Garret snorted and
pulled Clara through. We poured out of the house to load up our vehicles. Eva
wasn't wrong about us being a parade. I stopped by Clara and Garret's car to
coo at my youngest daughter, Aurelia. She was sleeping peacefully in her car
seat next to Liam's. She looked so much like Eva had that I was momentarily
gripped with nostalgia.
“Hi, Daddy Zack,” Liam said. He had Garret's red hair and blue
eyes between the shades of his bio parents. He also got his first freckles this
summer, a tiny, light smattering across his nose. I reached out and booped his
nose.
“Hey, Liam. You excited?” I asked as he giggled.
“Yeah!”
“Hey, Zack! Are you riding with us? Oh, I guess there isn't really
room. I could sit in your lap! Just kidding! Don't give me that look!” Aria
said.
“I'll see you again in a little bit,” I said with a laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, you were just here to see the kids, not me,” she
said.
“Oh, fine,” I said. I shut the car door and walked around to hers.
I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. She beamed up at me. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said. I shut her door enough for her to
finish closing it and accepted the hug and kiss Garret aimed my way. I hadn't
had a lot of time with him lately and took a little longer than I should have.
He seemed to feel the same way, though, because he didn't pull away, either. We
finally let go together, and I gazed into his aqua eyes with adoration.
“I love you, too,” I said.
“I loved you first,” he said, as he'd taken to when I said that.
He didn't mean that he loved me before I loved him. He meant that I'd been the
first he'd loved like he did, and it made my heart swell to bursting every time
he said it. We touched our foreheads together.
“You can be gay at Pride. That's literally what it's for,” Eva
said as she walked past us.
“That's it. You're walking,” I said, as though she wasn't already
planning to run and meet up with her latest boyfriend. Eva yelped and jumped.
Garret was suddenly very interested in making sure the kids in his car were
buckled in.
“Da!” Eva yelled.
“What?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Dad, Da smacked me with his mind!” Eva said. We both started
laughing, and I smacked his butt.
“What have we talked about?” I asked Garret, who was not at all
chastened.
“She's no bairn no more,” he said, and she squeaked and ran off
out of his range.
“You developing those force pops was the worst thing that could
have happened,” I teased him. He smirked.
“We're leaving without you!” Sarah called from our van.
“Rude!” I called back. I gave Garret another kiss before running
off to stop directly in front of Sarah and make her shriek. Garret force popped
me in the ass, but I ignored it. A reaction only encouraged him, and I didn't
need to end up a horny mess. I kissed Sarah and then got into the front seat
with Lukas. He leaned over for his kiss and ran his fingers through my hair. I
had it down, all the way down to my butt, and brushed until it was shiny and
smooth. I sat back and stared at his new hair.
“I like it,” Freyja said.
“Vati's new hair?” I asked.
“Yep! It's cool,” she said and swung her feet. “Can I get a
mohawk, too?”
“If you want,” Sarah said as she buckled in. “You know the rule,
though.”
“I know, I know. Sit on it for a month,” she said.
“If you still want it then, we'll make an appointment. Vati's hair
will still be like this for at least a year at the rate it grows,” Sarah said.
“I could shave it entirely,” Lukas said.
“No!” we all exclaimed together. He flinched.
“Sorry that was so loud,” I said and squeezed his thigh.
“I should have anticipated it,” he said. The drive out to the
festival was full of Freyja's music choices since it was her turn to cast. When
Sarah and I insisted on singing along, she switched it to less terrible music
than the first stuff. I liked plenty of new music, but I hated the specific
subgenre of pop she'd discovered.
We got terrible parking at the festival, but it didn't really
matter to us. Mia was the only one who was really inconvenienced, since she
wouldn't accept a piggyback ride like Aria. The rest of us all easily had the
energy, even Clara. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail with one giant
curl, revealing that the underlayers were dyed prismatic mermaid colors.
“Hey!” Toby's call from the gates got all our attention, and we
hurried along as quickly as Mia and Harley could go. Except Jamie, who wasn't
going to be slowed down from reuniting with our son. I was stunned by his
appearance. I'd never seen him with long hair before. It was brushing his
shoulders. He also looked fully grown for the first time in his life. How? Just
five years ago, he still looked seventeen. The last time I'd seen him, he
looked eighteen, tops. Now he looked twenty. Was it the stubble? His blue eyes
seemed brighter against the dark tan he was sporting, too.
“Toby!” We called out as we hurried close to him. He let go of
the guy his arm was wrapped around and started collecting hugs. I looked what I
assumed was his boyfriend over. He had light brown hair, a neatly trimmed
beard, gray-blue eyes, light skin, and was only a little shorter than me. As
expected, Toby screamed when he saw Luka's hair.
“Vati! What did you do? Fuck, I dunno if I love it or hate
it,” he said. Lukas rolled his eyes.
“I have been listening to a lot of music that fits it,” Lukas
said, once again touching the stiff spikes from the side. “It will help with
hunting at concerts. It was also something that I had yet to try.”
“I get that. Okay. Ash, this is my family. My Mom, Jamie, Mama,
Sarah, Dad, Zack...” He introduced us all one by one. “Everyone, I'd like you
to meet my husband, Ash.”
“Husband.”
“Your what?”
“Husband?” The explosion was nothing Toby wasn't prepared
for. Ash turned red as a tomato and clutched Toby's hand tightly. I walked
away. My feelings were hurt. A lot. What had I done to hurt our relationship so
much that he hadn't told me he was engaged, let alone getting married? What had
any of us done?
“Dad!” Toby called after me. I stopped and tried to stuff all my
emotions down. I should be happy for him. He had found someone he loved enough
to marry. This wasn't going to help whatever was broken between us. I swallowed
all of it and turned around to give him a weak smile.
“Congratulations,” I said, trying to mean it. Toby threw his arms
around me and hugged me with a little too much strength. I hugged him back,
confused.
“I'm sorry, Dad. We didn't do this to hurt anyone, and I didn't
tell anyone because we got married the night he proposed,” Toby said. I let go.
“What?” I blinked in confusion for a moment, and then I turned to
glare at Julian. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked as upset
as I felt.
“Don't look at me,” Julian said. “I'm hearing it with you.”
“I didn't mean to cause drama,” Ash said in French. We all
turned to him. He wrung his hands. “I didn't want to lose him. I love him
with all my heart. He was going to leave, and we might never have seen each
other again. I knew he was the one for me.”
“'The one?' Are you planning to be monogamous?” I asked
Toby, switching to French in case Ash didn't speak English. I cringed inwardly.
It had to be French, didn't it? My weakest language.
“No, no. He's monogamous. He knows I'm not, that I'll
never be,” Toby said. “Also, I didn't want him going home to his family.
They're transphobes.”
“Transphobes?” Jamie repeated. We all looked between Ash and Toby.
“Are you a girl?” I asked Toby, wondering how we could have missed
that. He chuckled and shook his head.
“No, Dad. Ash is a trans man,” Toby said.
“Tobias...” Ash looked around in fear.
“Hey, new brother-in-law, don't worry,” Eva said, hopping
forward. She put a hand on his shoulder. “You're safe here. See! You get to
be yourself here, and no one in this family is bigoted. I promise.”
“Welcome to the family, son,” Lukas said. Ash turned to him
with wide eyes. Lukas turned to Toby and pointed. “You owe us a wedding.”
“We do not,” Toby said and stuck his tongue out. “But I
owe Ash one. Anyway, as I was saying, I'd like you all to meet my husband,
Ash Laurent Jean-Pierre Henderson. He can speak English, but he's nervous, and
since we all speak French, I told him not to worry about it.”
“First, I'm sorry for my poor French,” I said and walked
back to offer him my hand. “Like my husband said, welcome to the family. I'm
happy to have another son.”
“Thank you... Papa,” he said. I pulled him into a hug. I
let go, and Jamie took her turn welcoming him. By the time everyone was done
greeting him, he was crying. He ran to Toby and clung to him. “I didn't
believe you! They really accept me!”
“If there's one thing my family is good at, it's accepting
people for who they are,” Toby assured him. “You heard my father.
He immediately checked to see if I was coming out as a girl. I did
come out late as bisexual.”
“You'll have to tell us how you met,” Sarah said.
“But first, let's join the party. I've got him all built up for
this,” Toby said, vibrating in place.
“We can walk and talk,” Eva suggested. First things first, though,
we went through the gates and were each offered a free flag button. I picked up
the bisexual and polyamorous ones. Garret made a face at the pins, and Eva
handed him the gray-romantic one. He gave it a slight smile.
“It's my favorite color,” he murmured. I kissed the side of his
head. Lukas reached past him to pluck up a pansexual pin, and I turned to look
at him in surprise.
“What?” he asked.
“You're pansexual?” I asked.
“Yes? That is the one that says I don't care about sex or gender,
is it not?” he asked. I nodded.
“I guess I've just never heard or seen you label yourself,” I
said.
“You've never asked,” Lukas said as he scooped up the polyam
button, too. He walked off, and I felt bad. He was right. I never had. I
grabbed a he/him pin and followed him. He stuck the pan and polyam pins on his
sleeve, but he had a he/him pronoun pin, too, that he put on his chest. I
wrapped my arms around his chest from behind.
“Would you have answered me if I had?”
“Yes,” he said and twisted to hug me back. “Why are you 'bi?' I
have never seen gender matter to you.”
“It influences my attraction,” I said, shaking my head. “But it's
just... this was my first flag. Remember that Sarah drew one on her notebook
back in the hotel? I used to stare at it after I started to accept myself, and
when I see it now, it reminds me of falling in love with both of you. And I
don't see it as excluding anyone, I guess. I could be attracted to anyone.”
“Here, marra, you forgot one,” Garret said and handed me a
demisexual button.
“Oh, thanks,” I said.
“We's opposites,” he said. “And the same in a way.”
“I wish I'd known this was a thing decades ago. I remember how
fucked up I felt about my response to casual sex,” I said.
“Aye, and how I felt broken 'cause I thought summat was wrong with
me,” he said. “I wish someone had told me there's different ways to love
folks.”
“You picked a sexuality flag? What happened to refusing to label
your sexuality?” I asked. He shrugged.
“It's different here, ya know?” he said and looked around. “It's
different now. These words have been around for decades, might as well
have one or two. I divvent know. Eva handed it to me, said it's how I describe
myself.”
“Which one is that? I don't recognize it,” I said.
“Omnisexual,” he said and touched the pin.
“That's how you describe your attraction, too, but yours is
romantic. You're just attached to that flag,” Sarah said. She had the same pins
as Lukas. She attached her she/her button as she walked over.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Attraction to all genders but with gender influencing
attraction,” Sarah said.
“How can it not?” Garret asked. Sarah shrugged.
“I dunno. I have aesthetic types, but they apply to everyone. I
like girly boys and girly girls and girly enbies. I like buff dudes and buff
women and everyone else who's buff,” she said with a shrug.
“And you?” I asked Lukas.
“I like people I find attractive. Their gender doesn't matter,” he
said. Garret laughed.
“I feel like that, but the way Sarah says it, it says that's not
me. I divvent like women who are too muscular or men with stork legs, but I
like women with long, thin legs and... buff men. I divvent know many people of
other genders, so I suppose I'd not know what I prefer them to look like, but
the ones I've known have all been attractive,” Garret said. “Especially my
wife.”
“Wait, what? Your wife?” I asked. Clara was sitting on a bench a little
way off, watching Liam playing with Little Zac and Nova. I couldn't see any
buttons on her, but she was turned away enough to hide any on her left.
“Aye. She's summat called genderflux. Sometimes she's a 'something
like a woman' and sometimes she's 'nothing of the sort.' She says her 'gender
is confusing 'cause it doesn't sit still,'” he quoted. “She's been tryin' to
figure this out a while now.”
“That's interesting,” I said. My pet Dakota just called themself
genderqueer. I wondered if they were here tonight. “But she still uses she/her
pronouns?”
“She/they,” Garret said. “I'm not right sure how to use those.”
“You can just mix them up,” Julian said as he joined us. I was
surprised to see his pronoun pin.
“Any?” I asked and looked up at him. He shrugged.
“I don't care. If someone thinks I look like a 'she' or a 'they'
or a 'xe' or an 'ey' or whatever, it's fine. I'm not attached to any,” he said.
I looked down at his rainbow pride kilt.
“Are you nonbinary?” I asked. He shook his head.
“I don't think so. I feel like a guy. I always have,” he said.
“But I love it here. It's like home. I can just be myself, and it doesn't
matter if I'm gender nonconforming. I can be a guy who likes wearing dresses
and gets called 'she' and isn't less of a man for it.”
“You're lucky you missed the big gatekeeper shit when you were
little,” Sarah said. She reached up to pat his shoulder, and he gave her a
sideways hug and kissed the top of her head.
“Thanks for protecting me, Mama,” he said. He looked around and
caught Jamie's eyes. “Thank you, Mom.”
“Of course, baby. We love you,” Jamie said. Julian turned to Lukas
and then took a few steps over to hug him. Lukas hugged him back tightly.
“Ich habe dich lieb, Großer,” Lukas said, patting his back.
“Ich habe dich lieb, Vati,” he said. Lukas's expression shifted, and he hugged
him tighter. Julian returned it. They stepped apart, and Lukas held Julian's
face, his expression one of adoration. I expected them to break apart, but
Lukas wasn't done.
“I understand 'pride and joy' now,” Lukas said. “I love all of you
with my whole soul, but you, a son, I believed impossible for me. You are more
than I ever hoped for. You are a wonderful man, husband, and father. You may be
the best I have ever given to this world.”
“Vati,” Julian whispered. He hugged him again. I wiped my eyes as
discreetly as I could.
“I feel like I don't belong here,” Aria said softly. I walked over
to peek at our daughter in her carrier. Aria had just finished feeding her, and
a tiny bit of milk bubbled up at the corner of her lip. I'd conceived more
babies without having sex with their mothers than I had the old-fashioned way.
Since Aria didn't have a partner, I'd asked Lukas to help me get the donation
for Aurelia. He'd been delighted to.
“You don't know that Aurelia won't be one of us,” I said with a
wink. “But regardless, I'm happy to have you here supporting us. Just because
you don't need the space and don't face discrimination on the same level—I know
you've experienced it for choosing to attach your life to me—doesn't mean you
don't belong here. You're a good ally. You take action, not titles.”
“And kids of queer parents belong here, too,” Eva said. “I'm
cishetallo, but here I am with my three dads, two moms, bisexual brothers, et cetera,
et cetera.”
“Brothers, plural?” Aria asked.
“Yeah, I'm bi,” Julian said. “I've never had a boyfriend, though.
I've made out with a couple guys, hooked up with a friend, but Zaria has been
the only one my heart has ever wanted or ever will.”
“And I'm bi, too,” Zaria said. “I dated girls exclusively before
Jules. I thought I was a lesbian. Then he was the softest, most pure cinnamon
roll I ever met. He respected my 'I'm not interested in boys,' and was content
to just be friends. Until I wasn't. Which, honestly, happened super fast. It
was his eyes that got me. Look at those ridiculous lashes. So damn pretty.”
“Pssh. Like my eyes come close to comparing to yours?” Julian
asked and pulled her close. Luke made a grumpy noise in his carrier. “Sorry,
Luke. Didn't mean to jostle you.”
“Look! I got buttons, too!” Freyja said as she skipped up to us.
She pointed.
“And a lesbian sister,” Eva added. “Jesus. Am I the only straight
in the family?”
“I'm straight,” Mia said. She only had a pronoun pin: she/her.
“Your husband isn't,” Eva said, surprising me. I looked at Harley.
He had a pan pin. He smiled and gave a little wave.
“It never came up,” he said, correctly interpreting my expression.
He was right. It hadn't. “I've never dated anyone who wasn't a girl, though.
Eva, Mia, and Julian are the only ones who actually knew. I never even told my
mom or sister. I don't know why. I guess because it doesn't matter? I'm not
interested in anyone but Mia.”
“Doesn't change your sexuality,” Sarah said. Harley nodded.
“Right,” he agreed.
“Here you are!” Vincent called out. Lukas's face lit up and he
stepped forward, extending his hands. Vincent ran into his arms. They hugged
and kissed happily. When they broke apart, Vincent hugged Sarah and exchanged
hellos. He came over to me, and I gave him a quick kiss. We'd been kissing
hello and goodbye for years now at this point. He had three pins: he/him,
progress rainbow, and the gay men's pride flag. “How is everyone?”
“Good!” Toby said, finally joining the rest of us with Ash. Ash buttons
matched Vincent's. I guess he didn't want to be out as trans. “Ash, this is
Vincent, my Vati's partner. Vincent, this is Ash, my husband.”
“You... got married?” Vincent asked.
“Yeah,” Toby said. Vincent looked around at us, and we caught him
up.
“Well, congratulations,” Vincent said and clapped Toby on the
back. I thought about what Lukas had said to Julian and pulled Toby away from
the group.
“What is it?” he asked.
“This is probably going to be hokey to you, but—you know I'm proud
of you, right? I never stop being impressed with what an amazing person you've
become. I think you're incredible for chasing your dreams down and living them.
I miss you when you're gone for so long, and I hope you know you always, always
have a home here, but if it would be easier for me to come to you to see each
other, tell me, and I will drop everything. I love you so much,” I said.
He stared at me like I was saying something horrible, and I
stopped, worried I'd made him uncomfortable. Then he burst into tears and pulled
me into a hug to cry against my shoulder. I started crying with him
immediately.
“I love you, too,” he cried. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.
Like, I thought you felt like that, but I was worried you were mad about the
unplanned marriage and—”
“I'm not mad at all. I was worried I'd somehow screwed up our
relationship and didn't understand why you wouldn't tell us,” I said. “The
worst thing I could do is ever make you feel like you can't talk to me about
anything.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise after it happened so fast. I was
really excited to tell everyone. I wasn't thinking like that at all. I was
thinking about how great it would be when Ash saw that my family really was
different, that it's the best family in the world,” he said. I started crying again.
“I know I wasn't an easy kid. I was loud and destructive and wild, but you just
let me be me, always. You always seemed to understand me, even when I didn't.
You weren't scared of me, either. I always felt safe with you.”
“I'm so glad to hear that,” I tried to get out. We took a minute
to get ourselves back under control. I heard someone saying that they wished I
was their dad, and Toby and I both laughed and wiped our faces.
“What brought that on?” Toby asked.
“Lukas and Julian had a moment, and I realized I needed one with
you,” I said and shrugged. He stuck his tongue out. I laughed. I wiped my face
again. He took the tissue Sarah had snuck over to offer and blew his nose. “I
had a bad relationship with my father. All I ever did was disappoint him. Or
that's what I thought. My mom said that he actually was proud of some things I
did, but he never told me. I needed him to. I tried to always make sure you
kids knew I loved you and was proud of you, but you all got to the point where
I was annoying you, so...”
“As a kid, it seemed silly how often you said it,” Toby said. “But
I've met so many people who've never heard that from their parents that I get
it now. After Ash, I understand what I have. Whatever you and your dad
had—that's not us. I've never questioned for a second that we're good. And I
miss you, too. My life is amazing. I get paid to play guitar—that you
taught me—and play video games. Which you also taught me to play. Girls throw
themselves at me. I get the good drugs—don't make that face—and don't need them
like my band mates do. Yeah, I still do some for fun, sorry.”
“Don't apologize. I'd rather you didn't, but I just hope you're
being as responsible with them as you would be with alcohol,” I said.
“I am. I don't use often, but we get some amazing parties where
it's fun. I stay safe. Love me less?” he asked.
“Nope,” I said. I squeezed his arm. “Never. Absolutely nothing,
ever, could make me love you less.”
“I'm gonna change, Dad,” he said. I opened and closed my mouth. “I
have a sire and a nest picked out. Um, my sire is actually a vampire I've seen
off and on for a few years. She lives in San Francisco, and... I'm going to
transition into that flock, if that's okay?”
“Of course it is,” I said, trying to recover quickly from the
sudden reveal.
“Oh thank god. I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want
you and Vati to think it was that I don't love our flock. I just... don't want
you as my leaders.”
“I don't want to be your leader, either,” I said. “I don't think
Vati will ever accept appointment to the office again. He's been so much
happier since he stepped away from leadership.”
“The last master of the North Bay vampire community,” Toby said,
glancing over at Lukas. I looked with him. He was chatting happily with our
family. “But you're the current Vampire Leader of the North Bay Area.”
“I can't believe they made it an official office,” I said. “I'm
glad you'll never know a master territory or what it was like having to hide
that you were in the ruling family.”
“Thank you for protecting me from that,” he said. “Eva said that
it was hard dealing with that and having Vati as Master and you as Commander.”
“It was hard on us, too. We couldn't have punished her if she
broke territory rules. Uncle Tony wouldn't have, either, and he was the backup,
being Guard Commander,” I said. “We had no idea what to do about it when she
demanded to be a full part of the community. Thankfully, she never made us face
it before the Vampire Leader office was established.”
“She said that was what was so hard—that she knew she stressed you
out. That's why I don't want to belong to this flock. I don't want to put you
through that, too,” he said. I ruffled his hair.
“Thank you. You're a good kid. And you always have been. I'm sorry
it was so rough growing up as a dhampir with ADHD and that the rest of the
world wasn't as empathetic,” I said. He beamed at me. “I don't know if it
matters, but I genuinely like your band. I'm also kinda glad you're not the
lead singer, though.”
“Aww, you don't wanna sing along with me about fuckin' girls and
having breakdowns and shit?” he asked. We both laughed.
“It's not like we haven't ever sang together,” I said, and we
laughed again. “When do you think you'll be changing?”
“I left the band until I'm safe to tour again. I need a break,
especially since... you know my girlfriend, Gia?”
“Uh... the one with a wife? Down in San Francisco? With the blue
hair?” I asked.
“Yep! This baby's mine, for sure,” he said and grinned at me. It
took me a second to process.
“Yes? You're going to be a father?”
“Yes! And I'm ready this time,” he said. “I mean, I will be. Once
I'm transitioned and all that. Not that we're planning to live together. I
think she and Brandy will be great moms without me there until I can be.”
“When is she due?” I asked.
“She's only twelve weeks. This is when I have permission to announce.
And yes, we did it on purpose,” he said.
“Congratulations,” I said, my eyes pricking up again. I grabbed
him in another hug. “Am I the first person you told?”
“Yep! Although Julian heard, obviously. I just told him he can
tell everyone else, so expect it to get loud here in a minute. Oh, changing! I
didn't answer you. Next month. I'm going to nest in Canyon with a vampire named
Wyatt.”
“Wyatt's good people. I'm glad he's who you're going with,” I
said, nodding. Toby glowed with happiness. “Anyway, thank you for indulging my
need to heal my childhood trauma with you.”
“Oh no, not being loved and praised! How horrible!” he teased and
pushed me. I pushed him back and then pulled him into another hug. We broke
apart, and I asked him about his hair as we walked back to everyone else. They
pounced immediately, as predicted.
With that, we were all gathered together, and we set out to have a
good night celebrating the core of our family, which had just grown yet again.
We found more friends and family as we went, from my stepbrother and
brother-in-law and their daughters to the queer St. John kids, Lea and Matteo, and a bunch of our pets. It was the first Pride festival we'd been to in years,
and maybe that was why it seemed so much better than years before.
Or maybe it was just all the pride I had in my family.
