“Oi!
Don't pick on her, Jem!”
“Then
she needs to stop trying to convince—dammit, Clara, don't cry!”
Jamie rubbed her face and took a long, deep breath. “I can't. It's
been three years, Garret. You need to deal with this.
Stop leading her on or figure out what the fuck you want or whatever
it is that's going on. She was already groomed, you took it over, now
deal with it without hiding behind the guilt!”
“Groomed?
Guilt?” Clara repeated, looking up from her hands.
“That's
exactly what I asked you if I was doin' years ago, Jem, and you told
me—”
“I
know!” Jamie growled, and Garret shrunk back.
I
was trying hard not to get involved, but Clara's pitiful expression
was about to break me. I couldn't see her as a potential partner the
way Garret could, even now that she was an adult. I saw her as a
child that needed protecting. Three years out in the world had
changed her maturity and naïveté a lot, but it hadn't done anything
to change her tune. She loved Garret wholeheartedly, and she insisted
she would wait her whole life for him to love her back if it would
ever be possible. He was so confused on what he felt about her that
he couldn't just tell her to give up, though he'd tried.
After
Mia's wedding, he had sat down with her and explained to her what
he'd done and why and why he wouldn't touch her again. She'd moved
into the main house with us, heartbroken, but it hadn't lasted. She
had decided that her feelings were real, and it didn't matter how she
developed them. Garret was willing to take responsibility for that,
and she'd halfway moved back in with him and started her three year
mission of getting him to notice her.
Tonight's
fight had been started by her trying to get Jamie to take her side,
once again. She had tried once every three months like clockwork.
Jamie had accepted the debate up until now. Clearly, she'd reached
her breaking point. Poor Clara hadn't seen it coming.
“You
want me to do summat about it?” Garret snapped, his eyes gone
black. My chest tightened. I considered leaving. “Fine!
Clara—you are certain you love me? Me, only me, and it's not
changed in all this time?”
“I—I
never said it hadn't changed,” Clara answered softly. She was
shaking terribly, and I could hear her heart pounding so hard and
fast that I opened my mouth to tell everyone to step away and
breathe, but she beat me to it. She closed her warm brown eyes and took a slow,
deep breath and repeated it until her heart was down in a safer
range. She stood up and lifted her head high before taking long,
purposeful strides up to him to meet his threatening eyes. “I loved
you obsessively in the beginning. I couldn't sleep well thinking
about you. You told me to find someone else. You told me to be a kid.
I tried!”
That
had been one of the biggest challenges with Clara. She had wanted to
go to school. Not to have a tutor like Kiara and Ellie. She was as
enthusiastic as they were reluctant. So, the St. Johns had adopted
her. It had been a process, but Tony had done what I would have in
Garret's shoes: he had reported her uncle for sex trafficking of a
minor. Garret wasn't a mandatory reporter like Tony and I, and he had
gone through the channels as he'd known them his whole life. I'd
wished Garret had called me for advice instead of reacting. Tony was
so feared by other vampires that no one had ever dared to put him in
a position for reporting before, so he'd asked me about what the
process was actually like before he did it.
While
we were discussing it, he had told me about a child vampire named
Eric North in Miami in the nineties that he'd busted as chief of the
Miami VU who was running a child trafficking ring. He hadn't killed
Eric himself, but he also hadn't made it to trial. It made me
appreciate Myles more. He'd met Persephone and Clarissa as vampires
already and had never gotten involved with humans due to his
appearance.
Adopting
Clara himself had been the tricky part for Tony, and it had involved
less than legal or ethical means, but sadly, it was still probably
safer than wherever she would have ended up as a beautiful, naïve
16-year-old girl in foster care. Jamie's conflict had been mostly
with that. Her own horrific experience in foster care as a teenager
made her actively hostile to the system, even though it had been
entirely redesigned after the extent of the trafficking it was used
for had been exposed over a decade earlier. I knew Jamie had guilt at
pushing to keep her with Garret, but she felt he was better than
taking the risk of trusting Clara with a stranger.
Of
course, Clara had also managed to find out about emancipation and
threatened to use that if she was separated from Garret when Garret
himself had started pushing for trusting the new system.
“She's
not a child. It won't be the same as what I—” he'd tried to
argue, but he couldn't finish. He didn't want to argue for it. He
wanted another option.
“No,
it can be a lot worse,” Jamie had muttered, lost in the memories
she said she'd trade for any
earlier ones. The conversation had ended with that. Ann had
volunteered without being asked.
Ann
and Tony took her into their house during the hearings, and she
stayed there whenever Garret wasn't home. After, Clara
St. John had fit in fine with her new siblings, loved her new family
and officially lived with them, but she was with Garret as
much as he'd tolerate. And he tolerated a lot from her—more than I
had ever seen him put up with from anyone else.
“I
went to school. I dated. I fulfilled all of your requests except the
impossible one. I can't forget you. I can't stop loving you. I know
that you've only been in love like you love Zack just the once. But
you love Sarah and Lukas, too. Why can't you love me like them?”
“What
if I do?” Garret asked her, his teal eyes sad now. His pupils had shrunk
back while she spoke.
“What?”
“What
if I do? What if you can have me?” he asked. “Will you
still love me?”
“Yes!”
she cried, her face lighting up with joy as she reached for his
hands. He took a step back, dodging her grasp. Her expression twisted
into confusion.
“Then
I'll do this right,” he said softly.
“Garret—”
Jamie cut herself off, her eyes wide. My breath caught in my throat.
I'd teased him. He'd teased back. I still didn't expect him to...
“Aye?”
he asked Jamie. “Any reason I shouldn't?”
“If
it's reactionary to this argument,” she answered. He shook his
head. “You love her?”
“I
am so confused about what I feel that I cannot say,”
he answered. He turned back to Clara and went down on one knee. She
gasped and clutched her hands together. “Clara Rose St. John, you
win. I'm not sure what sort of prize I am, but if you'll have me,
warts and all, then I'll do all I can to make you happy. Do
you want to be my wife?”
“Yes!”
she whispered. “Yes, yes, yes.”
I
watched his face instead of hers. The sadness was gone. He blurred as
my own eyes burned when I realized what I saw on his face. I'd had
three years of warning; it was more than enough. I was delighted
to see it. I wondered if I'd been a bad influence on him, refusing to
admit that I had feelings for Katsuo or that I loved Dayo, my
beautiful comet, just as much as any of my committed relationships.
He had asked me how I'd feel if he did love her, and I hadn't
answered properly. I didn't know, after all. But there it was. He
loved her. I was happy for him.
I
suddenly realized he had probably wanted to just be allowed to
love her like she loved him and couldn't because he knew it was
wrong. But he loved 102 year old Hattie enough after 85 years to talk
on the phone with her twice a week and visit her every birthday since
she'd turned 90. He'd love 102 year old Clara; I knew he would. It's
why I had supported whatever choice he made since he'd made the bad
one to save her. I refused to advise him. He had plenty of other
people willing. He'd needed me to just support him, and that's what I
had done.
“It's
okay to love her,” I said, finally speaking up. Everyone but Clara
looked at me. Garret stared wide-eyed over his new fiancée's head.
He didn't stop hugging her. “It's okay. You're allowed.”
“Can
you let me breathe, though?” she squeaked. He let her go and jumped
back.
“Sorry!”
he said, catching her hands before she had finished putting them
down. Clara turned to me and smiled brightly.
“I
wish you'd said that sooner,” she said.
“I
didn't realize what was going on until just now,” I explained. “And
I agree with everything Jamie has ever said to you. Garret should
have called me and had me report your uncle that night three years
ago. He didn't, and I think it's because he saw something in you that
he could love. He told me once that he'd still have dated me at
eighteen if he'd met me too young, as long as he didn't watch me grow
up. Lukas has said that he doesn't discount seventeen-year-olds
because humans are here for a blink, so any extra years you can get
with one, you take, but not so young that they can't choose. I think
you were too young to choose. I think Garret knew that. I think he
knows you're going to grow up and change your mind. He's never had
his heart broken, you know? He's not going to stop loving you.”
“I'm
not going to do that!” she disagreed, her expression darkening. She
spun back to Garret. “Is that true? You don't think that, do you?
That I'll stop loving you just because I started so young?”
“Sometimes
I feel like you don't see me, and then other times, it's like you
know me better than I do, marra,” Garret choked out, not having
looked away from me since I'd monologued.
“I
always see you,” I protested. “Sometimes you don't give me the
information I need, and pushing for it leads to fights. Sometimes we
communicate badly. But I always see you, even if I'm missing the
specific thing you're trying to get me to pick up on without you
having to say it. I'm not Adam or Sakiko or Julian. I don't have any
gifts to cheat with.”
“Adam
couldn't tell me I was in love,” Garret said softly. “I keep my
thoughts and feelins from Julian and Sakiko as best I can. They're my
kids.”
“Yeah,
Julian has complained about your 'mind your business' mental shield,”
I said with a light laugh. “Adam has admitted that he's not great
at identifying love that feels different from how he loves Polly and
that he didn't love his family because he didn't remember a time
before they abused him. He couldn't tell the difference between
familial love and flock bonds.”
Garret
wasn't the only one with a complicated relationship with love, it
turned out. Unfortunately, Adam was the only person Garret could ask,
and he'd been inundated with toxic monogamous thoughts. I had thought
over and over what a shame it was that Garret had been denied love,
but I couldn't help enjoying that I'd been the one to inspire it in a
way he could finally identify.
“Garret?
Do you really think that?” Clara pushed. Garret sighed and turned
back to her. Aria tapped my foot with hers, and I looked down into
her smiling face. I shook my head and smiled back.
“I
love you, Clara. I wish I'd done it right, but...” He stopped and
stared up at the ceiling for a moment. “I'd've never come back to
find you.”
“I'd
have tried to find you,” she said softly.
“No.
You woulda forgot me like every other vampire paraded around a front
o you.”
“I
didn't see any other vampire before you,” she whispered. Her
voice gradually rose into the passionate oratory I was used to from
her. “You keep blaming yourself like a part of me didn't come alive
the moment you walked into that room. I have never seen anyone as
beautiful as you. You're a perfect sculpture come to life. I feel
like someone in ancient Greece would have confused you with Adonis,
Dionysus, Apollo—you aren't inhuman for being a vampire but for how
beautiful you are. You're the northern lights across the Milky Way:
almost too much.”
“Well,
how I look is summat that's not gonna change,” he mumbled, his face
red at her exuberance. I was glad Lukas missed that. He'd have sulked
that no one spoke to him that way. “But that's not love.”
“No,
that's what I was obsessed with. That's what made me follow you away
from everyone else. I had been taught to never be alone with a
strange man, you know. Never let myself out of the sight of my
guards. I had been flirted with before. I wanted you. And you
wanted me! It was unbearably romantic to me—and yes, I know it
wasn't romantic at all, but I was fifteen. I thought it was.
But what was is that you put yourself at risk to protect me.
You got yourself banished from the territory, risked your skin and
blood for me.”
“Because
you were an innocent kid,” Garret said, shaking his head. “It
wasn't personal.”
“Fine.
You're my hero if you won't be romantic. You don't get to take that
away from me.” Her eyes were shining with tears, and he drew her
close with his hands around her waist.
“Pet,
I'm not takin' anythin' from you. I telt you already that you win.
Just promise me summat?”
“What?”
she asked.
“When
you don't love me no more, go and be happy without me,” he
whispered.
“Okay,
I promise,” she said with a nod. His eyes went wide.
“You
do?”
“Yes.
It's an easy promise because I'll never not love you,” she said
confidently. He kissed her, and I looked away to give them what
privacy I could.
Aria
looked up at me for a moment before sighing and setting her forehead
against my knees where I had them drawn up onto the couch. I petted
her freshly rainbow dyed hair. She'd loved me for fourteen years. No one else. I sometimes
thought that I was wasting her life, but that was up to her. I loved
her, too, but not the same way. It was the same way I loved
Frieda—different from how I felt about Chris or Rory or any of my
other pets. If Devonte hadn't saved me, Chris would have become
trouble. Lukas had called him right—but he had also told me that it
was okay. He wasn't afraid anymore. But I still was. I was afraid
until it was too late, and Devonte swept Chris off his feet, and they
were so beautiful together that my lingering crush melted away.
I
was afraid of the ring I'd bought for Dayo. I was afraid of telling
Sarah that I wanted to marry her. Bonding with her under the stars
hadn't brought the drama I expected. I don't know why I worried about
Sarah with Dayo. She had facilitated our moving from obligation to
real desire. They were friendly ever since the night they passed me
to and back from one another. Fifteen years. Sarah had used Dayo as a
model a few times over the years. One painting went to Dayo, one was
a gift to me that I hung in my music studio and the rest had sold for
no small sums. Every time I played, I saw her smiling at me from the
wall, and I was reminded how much I loved her.
Aria
looked back up at me. I wondered why I couldn't love her back. She
was here, she wanted me, she made me happy, we were compatible in all
the ways that mattered, but I just didn't fall for her. She suddenly
made a face and pushed my knees down so she could climb into my lap
and hug me. I wondered what expression I'd had to warrant it, but I
hugged her back gratefully. I did need it.
“Oi,
this is my night to change things up; you get your own,” Garret
teased us. I flipped him off without looking and was rewarded by a
chuckle.
“We're
not changing anything,” Aria chirped as she let me go and turned to
sit without straddling me. “Don't worry. Zack still isn't in love
with me.”
“I
wish I'd stop feeling like I should apologize for that,” I
muttered.
“Excuse
you, where's my apology? Give it to me,” she demanded, sulking
adorably. I laughed and mussed her hair.
“I'm
sorry,” I said.
“That's
right. You're missing out,” she said before plopping back against
my chest shoulder first.
“You
love him?” Clara asked, looking surprised.
“Yep.”
“And
you don't love her?”
“I
love her, but not romantically,” I said, voicing my feelings for
the first time. Garret's expression matched Clara's, but Jamie glared
at me.
“And
how long has this been going on? Why was I not informed? Hello! Best
friend here. How dare you?” Jamie growled at me. I held my hands
up.
“I
thought you knew she was in love with me!”
“I
did but not that you knew or that you loved her back in any way!”
Jamie protested. “What else do I not know? I demand to know right
this minute.”
“Okay,”
I said. “But Garret asked that tonight be about his propo—”
“Who
are you proposing to?” Garret demanded, now looking as
offended as Jamie.
“But
you said—” I only got that far before Jamie audibly gasped.
Garret's mouth dropped open.
“Salem?”
they chorused. My head felt like it might explode from how hard I was
blushing.
“You...
both know that I'm in love with her, right?” I asked tentatively. I
couldn't look at Aria. It seemed too cruel. The rude noises that
Jamie and Garret made almost caused me to swear at them, but I
deserved it. “Well, I was just worried that it would upset people
if I said that I want to marry her. She said she would if it was an
option, and I love her, and our relationship has worked for years,
even with the distance.”
“When
did she say that?” Garret asked.
“When
the Emperor visited,” Jamie answered. “Lukas was the one who
freaked out at me, surprisingly. He waited until everyone else was
distracted and asked me to take a walk so he could dump it on me. He
was afraid of it back then. He was still afraid of her. The
third most powerful vampire in the world, Zack. You fell in
love with her.”
“Sarah
has an enormous crush on the Emperor, so...” I pointed out. Jamie
laughed.
“It's
too bad she spoilt things by propositionin' him to save you instead
of goin' through the Empress like protocol dictates,” Garret
teased. “He'd a happily fulfilled those fantasies she keeps
sketchin'.”
“Oh.
Yes. Too bad. Such a tragedy. I do not know how any of us sleep in
the day,” I intoned with as much sarcasm as I could, making
everyone in the room laugh.
“Laugh
it up,” Jamie said after she finished. “The Emperor is the
ultimate senpai for Sarah.”
“He's
already noticed her!” I pointed out. “His wife said no. Lukas
would have a conniption fit.”
“Who's
the Emperor?” Clara asked. We all turned to her at the same time.
“I
rescind my blessing on this marriage,” I joked. Garret snorted, but
Clara looked stricken. My eyes went wide. “It was a joke! I swear!
Because you're young and lacking important knowledge and... it wasn't
really funny, and I'm sorry.”
“He's
the most powerful vampire in the world,” Garret answered her and
then gave her a small rundown of his powers and the night we met him
as he settled down on the couch next to Aria and me with Clara in his
lap. She watched him speak like every word was the most significant
in the world, and I vaguely remembered feeling that way about Lukas.
I had always been comfortable around Sarah, but Lukas had awed me
every time he patiently explained anything or told me a story. That
had faded over the decades, but I could still lie in his arms and
listen to him talk for hours.
Maybe
I was wrong about Clara. Maybe she did love Garret in a way that
would endure. I didn't dismiss Mia's love for Harley at the same age.
When she'd curled up next to me and looked up to say 'Daddy, I think
I love him,' I had believed her. I had even been happy for her. I
liked my son-in-law. I believed in their love, their marriage. Of
course, 19 and 22 was a far cry from 19 and 173. I shook my head
slightly at the thought of Garret's age. Too young and too old at the
same time to make sense. He had been 71 when he met 17 year old
Hattie and only appeared two years her senior. That made more sense,
age-wise, but still clashed with his teenage face.
“And
then you went to Japan and lived in his castle?” Aria
interrupted, startling me out of my reverie.
“Aye,
and Zack followed,” Garret said, smiling fondly at me.
“Not
as long as I would have liked,” I said, smiling back. “I'd have
stayed with you for a lot longer if I could have just gone back and
forth instantly.”
“It's
only a three hour flight,” Clara said, confused. Ah, generation
gaps.
“It
was almost eleven hours back then,” I corrected her, and her eyes
went wide.
“I
remember when the commercial hypersonic planes launched,” Aria
said.
“So
do I, vividly, because it was two years after I had to travel on
their slower predecessors back and forth over the Pacific umpteen
times,” I grumbled, interrupting whatever she was about to say.
“Oooh,
so the year they figured out anti-sonic-boom tech!” Aria said
excitedly, used to me being rude.
“Yep.
Fuel economy was supposed to be the last hurdle, but oh my god were
supersonic planes loud.” I cringed at the memory. Humans
thought they hated them without the boom suppressors, but for
a vampire, it was like standing next to a cannon being fired—with
your ear against the barrel.
“Were
they still using fossil fuels?” Clara asked.
“Oh,
god no,” I said, shaking my head. “We got rid of those before you
were born. Shit, you're younger than the fossil fuel ban.”
“You're
younger than us landin' on the moon,” Garret teased me.
“I
just made you less upset about her age, didn't I?” I asked.
“Aye.
In ten years, it won't matter,” he agreed.
“You're
not making me wait ten years to marry you, are you?” Clara asked,
sounding horrified.
“Why?
Won't you still love me? Cannot wait for me?” he teased. But, as
usual, Clara was oblivious.
“Oh.
I guess you're right. If that's what you need, I'll wait,” she said
softly, picking at a cuticle.
“Clara...”
Garret turned to stare at the wall, and she followed his gaze before
prompting him to continue. “Are you plannin' to stay human, or are
you wantin' to change?”
“I
want to stay human.” Her reply was instant, and he cocked his head
to the side. “Um, do I need to change to stay with you?”
“No,”
he shook his head. “Why don't you wanna change?”
“I
have no interest,” she said and shrugged. “I don't want to live
on blood. I love the sun. I don't think I could handle centuries of
life. It sounds... difficult. I don't like vampire society. I don't
mind being a part of it with you, but I prefer the demands for humans
to that for vampires. I want children. I want to grow old and never
know how long I have or worry that it will be too long. I don't care
about being strong or fast. Sometimes when I'm sick, I think it would
be nice to not deal with that, but that isn't enough.”
“Children,”
Garret repeated. “How many?”
“How
many do you want?” she asked.
“I've
already got five.” He smirked, but she frowned.
“You
don't want children?”
“Never
did,” he answered. Tears sprang up to her eyes again. He didn't
comfort her, just waited to see what she would say. But instead, she
turned away and curled around her knees and started sobbing. He
pulled her back into his arms. “Clara! I said I never did, not that
I don't!”
“What?”
she sniffled miserably.
“Garret,
say what you mean, dammit,” Jamie admonished. “You're tormenting
her.”
“She
says she loves me. This is me,” Garret replied. Jamie pursed her
lips, and I frowned at him with her. He wasn't wrong, but...
“I
missed a joke?” Clara asked. “It was a joke?”
“No,
it was the truth,” Garret said. “The joke was makin' you wait ten
years. I'll marry you as soon as you have it all planned out. I'll
give you your babies. I know how to be a husband. I told you: I'm
gonna make you happy. I used to be afraid of havin' kids, and that's
part o why I'm upset at you bein' so young. I don't wanna be like the
man who woulda hurt any lads I had, who hurt me.
“But
he's been dead twenty-eight years, and I've been a da for—I'm not
sure how long, but more'n twenty years. I'm not opposed to my own any
more. I'll give you as many as you like. I promise.”
Clara
was still crying, but I didn't think she was upset anymore. He shot
me a worried look, and I smiled and shook my head. I signed 'happy'
to him around Aria in BSL because it was easier than ASL with my arms
full of my pet. I'd learned BSL to understand Adam and Garret, and
I'd learned ASL with Adam when he emigrated to the US with Polly to
stay. Adam was able to help with learning because he'd just dumped
his memories of lessons in my head. When I was able to stop throwing
up from the migraine it gave me, I had a good grasp of BSL.
“Please
wait a few years to start having babies,” Jamie said. Clara looked
up at her, and before she could ask, Jamie was answering, “It was
hard for me to wait, but I don't regret it. There were times when I
wished I'd started earlier, but that's because it meant I changed
later in life than I wanted. If I was going to stay human, I would
have been perfectly happy with the choices I made. I wanted kids just
as much as you seem to. I think I harassed Zack and Sarah more than
Zack's mom did.”
“You
absolutely did,” I agreed with a laugh. “You were just sneakier
about it. Mom said what she wanted. You dropped little hints. 'Oh,
look, there's a playground just down the street from the house!' 'I
bet we could add a room onto that part of the house if we needed
another.' 'This back yard is perfect for kids to play in.' And so
on.”
“Why
didn't you just have babies yourself?” Clara asked Jamie.
“Because
it would have been worse than inconsiderate when Sarah and Zack
weren't ready. Sarah was afraid of having kids because her mom almost
died giving birth to her. I told her that I was happy to carry the
babies, but she would just say that Zack wasn't ready at that point.”
“Why
weren't you?” Clara asked. I considered everyone in the room before
answering.
“Because
Lukas beat me,” I answered. Aria cringed and curled up, so I hugged
her closer. “I didn't want to bring kids into that. I had no idea
that having kids would make him work on himself so hard or I would
have seriously discussed how Jamie wanted to get pregnant until Sarah
was ready. I'd say I would have married Sarah earlier and started a
family earlier, but then I think that I might not have Eva, and I get
really upset. But even then, I waited to ask Sarah because I wasn't
sure it was okay for me to put myself in the spouse spot when Lukas
and Jamie loved her just as much as I did.”
“You
said you just wanted to be sure you wanted to marry her,” Jamie
said.
“I
was waiting to see if Lukas asked first. He was with her first. I
waited to see if you would take the legal state option and marry her
in another state, even if it wasn't recognized here. I waited to make
sure that my desire to marry her never wavered. I waited to see if
Lukas was going to stop beating me. I almost left twice.”
“What?”
Jamie's eyes went wide.
“Twice.
I think you know both times I'm talking about.” I wasn't willing to
say more than that. Jamie scrunched up her forehead, and the silence
in the room was strangling. “But that's the past, and I don't
really want to spend time there. Lukas hasn't hit me in years. He got
help. He chose to do better, and he did it for himself. We're so much
better than we were then. Maybe someday, when we're tired of the
empty nest, we'll have kids again, and this time, it can be the way
it always should have been.”
“I
can only think of one time that makes sense,” Jamie said. “I
think I may have lost some memories that I'm glad not to have.”
“Good,”
I said, meaning it. “I'm not helping you recover it.”
“I
didn't know any of that,” Aria said, shaking in my arms. “How
could anyone hurt you? How?”
“Don't
cry!” I tried to comfort her, but she wasn't having it. I didn't
realize that I'd never told her. I knew she knew I'd been Lukas's
slave, but I guess she hadn't thought about what that meant. Frieda
knew, Rory knew, but I didn't talk about it with Aria because I
almost never talked about dark subjects with her. I didn't talk about
it with Chris, either. I had talked about it with Dakota, my most
recently acquired pet, because their last vampire had been an abusive
dick, too. None of the others, though. “I'm sorry I answered
honestly. I forgot you didn't know.”
“Don't
treat me like a child,” Aria cried. “You're my best friend. I
should know these things.”
“Hey,”
I hooked my finger under her chin and made her look at me. Her blue
eyes were puffy and red, and she sniffed miserably. “I've told you
before that you're my rainbow. I don't want anything to spoil how
pure and wonderful you are. I don't want to hurt you
with my darkness. Ever.”
“This
is why your pets fall in love with you,” Garret teased me as Aria
sobbed harder. I sighed.
“I'm—not—a—fair—weather—friend!”
Aria hiccuped. Clara was frowning sadly at her.
“You
love me romantically?” Clara asked Garret.
“Leave
it alone,” Garret said. “I'm not Zack. I don't have the
experience with my own feelins he has. I cannot say this or that.
When he doesn't love someone a certain way, he cannot be with them as
a couple. I'm not like that. You asked me to love you like I do Sarah
or Lukas, and Lukas is too confusin' for me to love anyone else like,
but I can love you like I love Sarah. If that's not enough—”
“It
is,” Clara said, smiling now. Aria had calmed down while Garret
spoke.
“It's
enough for me,” Aria said softly. “It's always been enough for
me, the way he loves me. I don't mind.”
“I'm
glad to hear that,” I told her, feeling an old weight lift off my
chest. “When I loved Garret, but he said he couldn't love me, it
hurt. A lot. But I got over it. Because even if he didn't love me, I
still had him. I had his friendship, which was the most important
thing to me. I had his companionship. I had his bed. If he couldn't
love, then I was missing nothing. That's what I told myself. But I
didn't live with it for long, because it turned out he did
love me. I think I could have settled in with him even if he really
was fully aromantic. So, I believe you. I'm sorry I can't give you
the things that come with romantic love, but if you say you're happy,
I believe you.”
“I
could go for pity sex,” Aria teased, and I snorted.
“Don't
let Sarah hear you say that,” Jamie said. Aria shrugged.
“Sarah
said she was okay with it when I told her,” Aria answered,
surprising me once again. Jamie looked even more surprised than I
felt.
“Okay
with what?” Sarah asked as she opened the front door. Lukas came in
with her and scrunched his face up in confusion at those of us on the
couch. “What did I miss?”
“Wow,
is that a long answer,” I replied at the same time Aria answered.
“Zack
giving me pity sex.”
“Is
that happening?” Sarah asked as she hung up her coat. Lukas turned
to stare at Sarah.
“No,”
I answered, and Aria sighed dramatically and flopped back against my
chest again.
“I'm
gonna marry Clara,” Garret followed, getting both Sarah and Lukas's
attention.
“Should
you not ask St. John's permission?” Lukas teased. Garret, as if to
prove Clara wasn't the only one capable of taking a joke too
seriously, suddenly scooted his fiancée off his lap and skittered
out the door without another word.
“What?”
Clara looked very confused now.
“Lukas
triggered human life social conditioning,” I answered.
“Oh,”
Clara said. “So he's asking Papa?”
“Mm-hmm,”
I answered, amused. She had never managed the accent on the Italian
form.
“Isn't
that the sort of thing everyone wanted me to get away from?” Clara
asked.
“Yep,”
I answered. “But at their ages, skipping that could upset them
both, so...”
“I
see.”
“May
we return to Aria's request for physical intimacy?” Lukas asked,
clearly not having gotten that it was a joke. Or maybe it wasn't.
Maybe I was the oblivious one.
“You
know I can't,” I said, looking at Lukas and then Aria. Aria nodded.
“I mean, I physically can, but I can't.”
“I
was just joking,” Aria lied.
“I
know,” I let her have it. “It's not like you don't get a certain
level of that intimacy with me almost every month.”
“True!”
Aria agreed cheerfully. She gave me a grateful look, and with that,
we silently communicated that she knew I knew she really had been
hoping I'd agree. Sarah shot us a sympathetic look.
“But
I... am going to ask Salem to marry me,” I threw out. Sarah burst
out laughing. Lukas snorted. “Yeah, yeah.”
“Took
you long enough,” Sarah teased me, exactly as she had about my
proposal to her.
“I
did not expect you to admit that this quickly,” Lukas said. “You
only bought the ring last week.”
“Nice
to know you're still stalker-level aware of everything,” I shot
back, and he chuckled.
“I
assumed you used our joint bank account to tell me without having to
tell me,” Lukas said.
“I—”
I realized that he might be right. I hadn't consciously thought about
it. I used that one because it was where the majority of my big money
was, but I had multiple cards I could have used.
“You
told on yourself without even thinking about it,” Sarah said from
Jamie's lap, still giggling.
“You
smell like Kimiko,” Jamie noted as she sniffed the back of Sarah's
neck. Sarah blushed. She had spent the early evening with Kimiko, so
that was to be expected.
“Are
you and Himura-san going out on Friday or Saturday?” Sarah asked
me. “You didn't put it in the calendar.”
“He
had to cancel,” I said, shaking my head. “He got asked to work
overtime both nights at the post office to keep up with the holiday.
We're still going to iaido and jujutsu, and we'll probably go back to
his place after both.”
“When
are you going to propose to Salem, then?” Lukas asked. He looked
lonely in his chair, and if Aria hadn't clearly needed me to cuddle,
I'd have joined him.
“I
suddenly have the weekend free,” I said. I turned to Sarah. “Unless
you were trying to make plans with me.”
“That's
more important,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “How are you going
to do it?”
The
front door opened, letting Garret in. He looked content, and I
smiled. The conversation with Tony must have gone well. Clara
noticed, too, and smiled brightly at him.
“He
said yes?” Clara asked.
“We
have his blessing,” Garret confirmed. “I know he's not your real
da—”
“Yes,
he is,” Clara interrupted. “He adopted me. Legally and
culturally, he's my father now. I barely remember my biological
father. I love Tony and Ann. They've been wonderful to me. The worst
thing in my memory was the night you told me that you couldn't love
me and that you shouldn't have saved me the way you did. My uncle was
never mean, and I didn't have any idea that he was abusing me. I have
no negative memories with him at all, which is very confusing now. He
was patient and indulging. Tony has been the same.
“Talia
tells me I'm spoiled and lucky I missed being there before Lea was
born. That's me, I guess? Spoiled and lucky. Because I'm happy. I've
always been happy, and now I have parents who love me, siblings that
treat me like I'm blood, metamours that accept me, and I get
to live happily ever after with the man I love.”
“It's
odd, you bein' siblings with kids I think of as my nieces and
nephew,” Garret said, frowning. “St. John bein' my brother and
all. But none of it's blood, so it don't really matter.”
“Vampire
family ties are confusing,” Clara said. Garret nodded. I had barely
managed to stop myself from mentioning that he'd lost his virginity
to a cousin and planned to tease him about that later. The last time
I'd teased him, he'd pointed out she wasn't a first cousin and
then bit me. I wanted some biting.
“So,
do you need help moving in with Garret?” Sarah asked as Garret sat
back down next to Clara and took her hand in his.
“She's
not doin that,” Garret negated.
“What?”
Clara demanded. “But you—”
“I
cannot take back what I did years ago, but I says I'm gonna do this
right,” Garret said. “You said you'll wait ten years, but
you won't wait until after the wedding?”
“Why
bother? That's archaic. No one does that anymore!” Clara protested.
“I
never got to,” Garret said softly. “Give me this one thing to
separate you and me from everyone else I been with.”
“When
you put it that way, how could I ever refuse?” Clara gazed at him,
so starry-eyed that I expected to find Lukas sucked into them. He was
on his phone, though.
“When
Lukas realized that I was conflicted on our marital status, not
really sure if we were serious about calling each other 'husband,' he
took my ring away,” I said. “He wouldn't give it back or share my
bed until after we had a real ceremony, not just a ring and title
exchange like we did originally. But I hadn't been waiting three
years to get back in his pants.”
“So,
it's still special,” Garret declared. “If you'll be wor lass,
then that's my second condition, I suppose.”
“What
was the first?” Sarah asked.
“That
I leave him when I stop loving him,” Clara said. “Which was
easier than this, because I know I'm always going to love him.”
“What
if you fall in love with someone else?” Sarah asked.
“Am
I not allowed to do that?” Clara asked Garret.
“Of
course you are,” he said.
“And
I still get to keep you as long as I love you, right?” she
confirmed, and I saw the moment it clicked in his head.
“You
think you'll do that?” he asked.
“I
don't know? I haven't fallen in love with anyone else, even with all
of you saying that teenagers fall in and out of love all the time. I
gave it my best try. I even dated a few girls to see if I was bi, but
I'm not. Kissing girls is nice, but I didn't want to do more than
that. I had sex with a couple boys, and it didn't change how I felt
about them or you. I think I'm like Jamie. I'm in love with you, and
I'm only going to love you. I'll keep trying if you want me to, but—”
“I
don't want that,” Garret said. “If you wanna be with someone
else, that's fine, but you don't need to try to make it happen
anymore. I'm sorry if you only did that to please me.”
“Ultimately,
I did it to prove it to myself as much as you,” she said. “You
were all so insistent that it was just first love or young love and
that I'd get over it. So, I tried. It's not like I didn't enjoy
myself, but I didn't fall for anyone. Just you.”
“You
win,” Jamie said. We all turned to her. “You win. That—reminds
me too much of trying to not be a lesbian. I didn't go that far and
still knew I couldn't be attracted to men. I was probably in love
with Sarah easily as young as you fell for Garret. You win. Our
debate is over. I'm sorry that I was dismissive just because I'm so
disgusted by your uncle grooming you. It makes my skin crawl just
thinking about it. But I stopped being mad at Garret when he stopped
sleeping with you.”
“He
won't sleep with me. Just Zack.”
“That
isn't going to change,” Garret said. “Please forgive me for that.
My bed is only for Zack to share.”
“I
meant having sex, for fuck's sake,” Jamie said. I mulled over that
comment while half the room laughed and remembered Garret promising
to keep a place in his bed in the day just for me. “And I was
trying to say that I was mad at the situation as a whole afterward.”
“Back
to sleeping, though,” I said, and now I had the room's attention.
“You can sleep in her bed and still keep our promise.”
“It
won't bother you?” he asked, and my heart swelled. I'd guessed
right. It wasn't his old aversion to sharing a bed. It was his vow as
my partner.
“Nope.
Your bed is ours. Her bed is your marriage bed,” I said. I looked
over at Lukas apologetically. I'd shared our marriage bed with Garret
first because I hadn't had another bed to use. Our marriage had
always been a three-way with Sarah, so being intimate with her in his
bed hadn't violated it. He met my eyes before he looked back down at
his phone.
“Did
I bollocks up your vows?” Garret asked. I opened my mouth to say
yes, but Lukas beat me to it.
“No.”
He looked up to meet my eyes for a moment before he faced Garret.
“Zack promised to stay true to our bed, but our initial vows only
encompassed his mortal life. He was in his second life when I was
willing to try to let the two of you be together. Our vows in this
life did not come until you were already a part of it, a part of us.
It is true that I originally was vehemently against allowing you to
use our bed, but I had made peace with it by the time I gave my
consent. The idea of Zack having to leave every time he wanted to
make love to you was ridiculous. An old belief, an old tradition, was
not worth his happiness. It also made it easier on Vincent and me.”
“I
love you,” I told him. He smiled.
“I
love you, too.”
“You
texting Vincent?” I asked.
“Vincent,
Niccolo, Allen Green, Ruby, Samiya, Mae, Ellie, Evangeline, and
Toby,” he listed. I smiled. Toby had broken Lukas of calling him by
his full name halfway through high school. He still went back and
forth from time to time, but he was the only one of the kids whose
nickname Lukas consistently used. Ellie had been good practice, never
wanting to be called Elliot. Her mom had always called her by her
full name, so Lukas had only ever used it once. Of course, my mom had
started it.
“Where's
Toby tonight?” Clara asked.
“Las
Vegas,” Lukas answered.
“Vegas
is today?” I asked and pulled out my phone to shoot him a good luck
text.
“I
can't believe he made a career out of gaming,” Jamie muttered.
“I'm
kinda jealous,” I admitted.
“Mm-hmm.
You pretended to be worried about him being addicted—”
“I
was!” I interrupted Sarah. “Now I worry that I was just being old
and technophobic. I dunno. If I could have made a career out of video
games...”
“You
would have had to perform on international live broadcast,” Lukas
pointed out, and I cringed.
“And
missed out on my bookstore. Two big enough points to talk me out of
it. Toby likes being center stage, just like Eva.”
“Incoming
call from Julian,” My ear clip informed me.
“Answer,”
I told it. “Hello?”
“Hey,
Dad.”
“Now?”
I asked at the excitement in his voice. I patted Aria urgently, and
she hopped up so I could follow suit. Everyone in the room stood up,
catching on immediately.
“Yes,
now,” he said, laughing. “We're at the birthing center. Zaria is
trying to dance him down, but the midwife says she doesn't expect
this to take very long given how fast she's progressing. We only got
here twenty minutes ago.”
“Do
you want us to wait?” I asked. I saw Sarah's expression and turned
slightly away to avoid the daggers in her eyes.
“No,
no. The waiting room's got plenty of space.”
“Garret's
going to be annoyed. He called tonight for big events,” I joked.
Garret laughed.
“Zaria
gets the exception,” Garret called loud enough for my clip to pick
up. Julian laughed.
“What
was his big event?” Julian asked.
“He
got engaged to Clara,” I answered.
“Ahh,
that explains the emotional shit storm I've been feeling all
evening.”
“That
would be it,” I confirmed, stopping myself from apologizing. I
hadn't caused it, and Julian hated unnecessary apologies.
“Da
shut it down quick, but Mom isn't good at blocking me out.”
“You're
not supposed to emotionally eavesdrop,” I admonished him.
“I
don't usually, but it was a big ball of upset from Da. Like, I was
shook. I almost called, but I was trying to help Zaria make it
through early labor, so I just listened a little until Da dropped his
shields, and I felt him go all lovey. I butted out then. I thought
Mama had come home and fixed things. Clara, huh? I don't think I've
ever felt him not be all mixed up with guilt and trauma with that
love before. Whatever you guys did, good job.”
“Thanks,”
I said, pushing away my standard empath/telepath annoyance. “We'll
drop Clara off at home, and then we'll be up there in about twenty
minutes. Do you need me to call anyone so you can just be with
Zaria?”
“I
already called her mom. Will you call Gram Gram and Grandma? And my
sisters?”
“No
problem. Freyja's staying with Gram Gram. Did you want them to drop
her with the St. Johns before—”
“Yeah,
no, bring lil sis along. She wanted to be here.”
“Okay.
See you in a bit. Love you.”
“Love
you, too, Dad. Tschuss.” He hung up, and my clip beeped.
“Call
Mom.” While it rang, I shot off a text to most of my friends and
pets, 'I'm about to be a grandpa again!' While I texted, I said,
“Sarah, tell your mom, will you?”
“Hey,
sweetie, how are you?” Mom greeted me.
“Hey,
Mom. I'm good. I hope you are, too, because you're about to be a
great-grandma again!” I said. She gasped and started calling for
Charlie to load up Freyja in the car to go see a baby. I chuckled
listening to Charlie sing about it to Freyja in the background.
“Which hospital?”
“The
birthing center in Santa Rosa. I'll send you a map,” I answered.
“Not
the one Mia used?”
“No,
Mia used the same one Jamie did,” I said. I could hear Sarah almost
repeating me with her mom.
“Are
we bringing Freyja?”
“Yep.
We'll meet you there.”
“I
love you so much, baby. I'll see you soon,” she gushed.
“I
love you, too, Mom. Buh-bye.” I called up Eva next while Sarah
called Mia, and then I joined everyone waiting outside. Clara and
Garret were standing by the road, kissing good-night. I checked my
feelings on it, but they were fine. I thought sadly of Jordan and how
much Clara reminded me of a shockingly not fucked up version of her.
Not just their youth but the tenacity, the surety of their own
hearts. Mine broke for a moment for Jordan, who never got the future
she deserved, and I said a silent prayer for her, wherever she was,
that she had found peace. Then I let go of the sadness to be happy
for Garret and Clara.
Shit,
my partner was going to have a wife. It hit me hard in that moment
how much Garret had changed. I made a note to make sure I saw it and
talked about his feelings on it instead of making my cousin joke—or
before making it. Seeing his love growing only made mine stronger. I
had to walk over and hug Lukas tightly before I got overwhelmed. He
knew exactly what I needed and hugged me back just as tightly. It was
painful before either of us let go, but I felt enormously better when
we did.
“Send
me a pic as soon as you have one,” Aria called to me from the
street, and I ran down to her to hug her good-night.
“I
will. You don't want to be dropped off on the way?” I asked.
“Naw.
The cold night air feels nice,” she said. “I'll be fine.”
“Okay.
Text me when you get home. You have your pepper gel and a knife?”
“Yes,
Captain Paranoia. I'm always armed at night,” she said, rolling her
eyes.
“All
of Lukas's pets were killed in one day not all that long before I met
you. I am never not going to be terrified of losing you. I will not
get over it. Not ever, do you understand?” I dropped it on her. I
had always let her think I was just silly and paranoid. She shook in
my arms again, her eyes as big as I had ever seen them.
“Oh
my god. I knew something bad had probably happened, but... I love
you. I joke, but I promise I have always taken all of your security
precautions seriously. I have always been aware that this is a master
street. We used to go on lock down back on Paula's street, so I grew
up knowing that safety protocols are life or death.” Aria hugged me
with all her strength, and I picked her up in the hug, making her
laugh. I couldn't leave her melancholy.
“I
love you, too. You're so important to me. Please know that,”
I said. She nodded and grinned.
“Thank
you,” she said. I kissed her forehead and pulled her hood up before
I stepped back. “Sure you don't want a ride?”
“I'm
sure. I need the air. The guards will hear me if I scream. I'll be
safe,” she assured me. I wished I believed that.
“You
should have brought Ludwig with you,” I said, referring to her
sweet, goofy pit bull.
“Oh,
but he was playing so nicely with Connor when I left, I couldn't,”
she said, shaking her head.
“We
need a new dog,” I muttered.
“You're
the one who keeps crying every time Freyja says that,” Aria pointed
out.
“I
just miss Ursa so much. She was the best dog ever. I know seventeen
years is a really good run for a dog, but it's never enough.”
“You're
going to start crying again,” Aria teased me and poked my arm. “And
Ludwig is a wonderful dog, so how dare you?”
We
both laughed and said good-bye again before I climbed into the CUV
that had pulled up alongside me to wait. Sarah was in the front, so I
sat in the very back with Garret. Jamie scooted over to the seat
behind Sarah before we pulled out.
“Tell
me I'm makin' the right choice, marra,” Garret said, resting his
head on my shoulder.
“You're
making the right choice,” I obeyed. He sat up and met my eyes. I
smiled. “You want it to be the right choice, so it is.”
“Just
like that?”
“No,
but we've been through enough drama with Clara. She's spoiled and
lucky, so she gets you.”
“Are
you okay with this?” he asked.
“Garret,
I am thrilled to see you in love. This isn't some rapid
change; it's been gradual. I love seeing who you become now that
you're free to just be you. I love you.” I tried to cover
all my bases, remembering all the things he'd asked of me in the
past. Gratitude shone in his eyes, and his hand clutched mine
tightly.
“Thank
you, marra,” he said before resting his head back against my
shoulder. It stunned me. No follow up questions? No requests for
clarification? Had I learned his language? I closed my eyes tightly,
trying to keep them from leaking. I was excited to see my grandson.
Garret was happy and finding even more happiness.
I
missed my dog—which made me remember Kätzchen, and I missed him,
too. Jadzia and Ezri were great kitties, so I didn't know why I was
so reluctant to get a new dog. Oh. Leonard's attack. Of course. I was
afraid of putting another dog in that position. The cats were indoor
only, but we had to walk a dog.
Julian
was about to become a father! My excitement overwhelmed everything
else, and I nuzzled Garret's hair. I was looking forward to seeing
most of the kids together again, too. Zaria hadn't wanted to make the
drive down here for a few months, so we had been going up to Santa
Rosa to them, but then Mia didn't want to drive that far with Nova.
Annoying. I just wanted us to all have a nice family evening twice a
month. Why was that so much to ask?
I
started thinking we should have run halfway there, but I managed to
avoid complaining. Everyone in this car was just as excited. This was
Lukas's first biological grandchild in a thousand years. He had been
excited for Nova, but this had to be even more meaningful for him. I
brought that up, and he confirmed it, making me settle down.
Still,
his impatience showed when he took the first parking spot he saw. We
all ran as fast as we could for the door. My mom and Eva had beaten
us there, and Freyja came running up, her red pigtails flying behind
her, and launched herself at Lukas first.
“Still
laboring?” I asked. Mom and Charlie nodded while Lukas picked up
our cheerfully chattering six-year-old. I turned to Zaria's parents,
sitting in the chairs and watching Freyja with a smile. Zaria's aunt
was on her phone.
“Hey,
Keona, Mack,” I greeted, quickly echoed by everyone who had come in
with me. Keona got up to hug everyone, and I shook Mack's hand. “Hey,
Christina.”
“Hey,
Zack,” she said, giving me a quick smile before resuming her
conversation.
Little
by little, the family came back together. Toby shocked me when he
came bursting through the door.
“I
hopped a plane when Jules pulled our bond a couple hours ago. Didn't
even check my texts first. Thought I'd surprise you,” he explained
as he thumped into me in a big hug and pounded my back. I looked up
at him and smiled. He'd gotten that last inch he wanted and was 6'2”
now. “Did I beat Mia?”
“Yep,”
Eva confirmed. “But she's got a toddler and further to travel. I
just ran. Our parents drove up.”
“It
was a twenty minute drive,” I said, rolling my eyes at her echoing
my own impatience. Eva grinned as though she saw right through me.
She probably did.
“Cavemen,”
Toby teased, finishing up the rounds of hugs with Freyja.
“Is
he here?” Mia called, rushing through the door with Nova on her
hip. Nova's blue-green eyes narrowed at the crowd, and she buried her
face against her mom's chest, presenting us with her tiny brown
pigtails, a miniature copy of her aunt's.
“Not
yet,” I said, shaking my head. I was the closest to the door, so I
got the first hug again, carefully avoiding Nova. She'd say hi when
she was ready. Harley came through toting the diaper bag, so I hugged
him next.
“Blah,
even you had time to put on makeup,” Mia complained to Toby, who
laughed.
“I
was on a date when Jules activated the sib-signal,” he explained.
“I'm going to be wrecked for the tournament tomorrow.”
“Like
you're not going to suck down an energy drink ten minutes before like
you always do,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“I'mma
sleep, like, twenty hours afterwards. At least it's not until the
afternoon.” Toby stuck his tongue out at Nova and then spun around
like he didn't want her to see him. I saw her crack a smile. I heard
loud vocalizations coming from down the hall and went to sit down so
I wasn't hovering.
“How
do you think Jules is holding up?” I asked Jamie.
“He's
really good at being there for others no matter what they're going
through,” she commented, and I nodded agreement. “Going off those
sounds, Zaria's pushing.”
“Yeah,
that's what I thought, too. Julian had to step outside the building
when you were at the pushing phase with Freyja.”
“I'm
his mom.” Jamie chuckled. “It's not like he was a member of my
support team.”
We
both stopped to stare at the hallway to the birthing rooms when Zaria
let out a particularly loud roar. Jamie caught my hand on one side
and Lukas on the other. Sarah stopped talking to Eva and Mia to turn
to the hall. Eva and Toby looked with her. Freyja froze and turned
with everyone else who wasn't human. The humans were staring at us in
confusion, except Mack, who had followed our gazes, but we were
focused on listening for...
A
baby started crying. It was much quieter than Zaria had been, so the
dhampir all looked like they were straining a bit to listen.
“Baby!”
Freyja shouted. Nova jumped up and ran back to Mia from the toys she
had been playing with in the corner, startled by her aunt's outburst.
“The
baby's here?” Keona asked Jamie.
“Unless
someone else had one first, yes!” Jamie said excitedly. We all
started chattering excitedly, except Lukas, who had a death grip on
my hand. I held his back and left him alone to stress out.
Acknowledging it might only upset him more, and he couldn't help it.
He'd been nervous when Nova came, too, but Mia had wanted her moms in
the room, so Jamie was able to come out and reassure him immediately
that she was perfect. Zaria only wanted Julian and her best friend. I
could hear the baby crying healthily and wasn't worried.
“Vati,”
Toby said, turning to Lukas, his eyes a little unfocused. “Jules
says 'he's perfect, and Zaria's doing great.'”
Lukas
sagged against me as the stress left him. I put my arm around his
shoulders and kissed his head. Toby smiled and walked over to Garret
to chat with him. Toby was the only one of our kids who could hear
Julian, and he could only do it when they were close enough together.
Their gifts complimented each other. Julian could hear Toby's
thoughts when directed at him, too. He had to touch anyone else for
that.
Two
by two, we were called back to the room, starting with Keona and Mack
and followed by Lukas and Jamie. Sarah and I were next. Julian was
sitting in the queen sized bed next to Zaria, who hardly looked like
someone who'd just birthed the tiny human being Julian was holding.
Zaria was eating a burrito the size of her head and making happy
noises at it, making me chuckle as I remembered Sarah inhaling french
fries after Eva was born.
I
let Sarah go first, watching her squee and coo with fondness. I remembered to pull out my phone and take a picture after watching Julian do the same.
“His
name is Isaac Nelson,” Julian told us, and my eyes burned. A small
ache settled in that we were done having babies together, maybe
forever. I was looking forward to time without kids after Freyja grew
up, but I realized I wanted another baby with Sarah specifically some
day. Finally, it was my turn to perch on the bed next to Julian and
take my new grandbaby.
“He's
beautiful,” I whispered as a little, soft, light russet-brown hand
wrapped around my finger. He grunted and stared up at me with his
huge dark mahogany eyes. Vernix-waxed black hair was plastered to his
still-conical head. His tiny hand squeezed my finger, and I wiggled
my hand. “Hi, Isaac. Hey. I'm Grandpa Zack.”
“He
likes your voice,” Julian said, startling me. “He isn't sure
about all these faces, but your voice has been his favorite since
mine and his mom's.”
“Oh,
you poor baby. Your dad is going to know everything before you do,”
I said, chuckling sympathetically as a tear made a cold track down my
face. Julian, Sarah and Zaria all laughed. Isaac just watched me. I
felt the tiniest tug to him, like I had with Freyja, and looked at
Zaria in confusion.
“You're
human, aren't you?” I asked.
“My
dad's a dhampir,” she answered. “So, only mostly. Why?”
“I
felt...”
“Yeah,
he's been bonding to all the vampires since you started coming in,”
Julian confirmed, setting his phone down. “Vati and Mom didn't notice. Did you?”
“No,”
Sarah said, shaking her head. “Zack's the one who Toby got the
strong bond feel from.”
“Yeah,
I bet he carries the gifted gene. Probably a recessive, which is why
Dad and Mom aren't gifted,” Julian mused.
“Wait.
Are you saying Little Zac's gonna be like you?” Zaria asked Julian.
I lost it and buried my face against the side of Isaac's head.
“I
told you not to call him that in front of Dad until he was recovered
from meeting him,” Julian said. Isaac grumbled, so I pulled back to
kiss his forehead and hand him back to Sarah. I wiped my face. “We
kicked around Michael, but Toby and Mia both said they'd called it.
So whichever one of them gets a son first gets the Michael. We were
actually going to go with Luke until we saw him. He doesn't look like
a Luke. Maybe a Mike? Eh. Zac it is.”
“I
didn't know Toby was planning on kids,” I said.
“Me,
either,” Sarah said.
“He's
probably already got one,” Julian muttered, and Sarah raised an
eyebrow at him.
“Care
to share with the class?” Sarah asked. Julian shrugged.
“Two
of his exes are pregnant. One might be his,” Julian said.
“Billie's,”
I said, remembering him talking to me about it. “Something about
rejecting her implant.”
“He
never said anything to me!” Sarah sulked. She looked down at Isaac.
“You don't be like your Uncle Toby. Or Great-Uncle Tony. Be like
your daddy.”
“I
mean, Toby's stayed in contact with her,” I pointed out. “She
just didn't like the touring lifestyle.”
“Well,
between the gaming and his band, that's kinda expected,” Sarah
said, raising her own eyebrows.
“I
cannot figure out how he bounces from woman to woman,” Julian said,
shaking his head. “I would be a mess.”
“So
would I,” Zaria said with a laugh after finishing a long drink of
her water. “I'm not great with the sharing.”
“Well,
lucky you, you got the monogamous brother,” Julian said before
kissing her. Zaria looked over at Isaac as he started fussing, and
Sarah passed him back without a word.
“Okay,
you, let's try this again,” she said and then gave Sarah and me a
meaningful look. We took the hint. We both smiled and wished them
well on the way out. “Send the midwife in to help?”
“No
problem,” I said right before shutting the door. Sarah got the
midwife's attention and sent her in, never letting go of my hand. I
squeezed hers and pulled her close, thanking God for her yet again.
That clumsy boy on a bus 35 years ago had no idea that he'd found his
whole future when he met her eyes. I nuzzled her, my heart full to
bursting. Then I remembered that Garret was about to start having
babies, so our house would be full of them again and wondered if I
couldn't convince Sarah after all. We could get a human surrogate if
Jamie couldn't do it again. I looked down to find her staring at me,
spacing out.
“Penny
for your thoughts?”
“I
was just thinking how grateful I was that you're a klutz,” she
said, and I laughed loudly enough to startle poor Nova back to her
mom again. This time, she'd been playing with Freyja, so I started to
feel extra bad until she noticed it was me and ran over to hug my
leg. I patted her back happily before she bounced to Sarah for a hug.
“Gamma!”
she called out, holding her arms up.
“Nova!”
Sarah replied before scooping her up and turning back to me. “I
meant—”
“I
had just been thinking how grateful I was that I was a klutz, too,”
I explained, and she laughed, which made Nova laugh, reminding me of
how Toby laughed every time anyone else did at her age, and I joined
in. “I love you so much.”
“I
love you, too,” she said and went up on tiptoe for a kiss,
balancing against me with her shoulder and twisting so Nova wasn't
squished between us. “Jamie's declaration that we're done just got
blown out of the water by Clara.”
“So,
you're saying you want me to give you a baby?” I teased, and she
laughed even harder.
“Oh,
so that's what you were thinking about,” she said. Nova
climbed down. “Another Eva? Yikes.”
“Excuse
you!” Eva called out, interrupting her conversation with Toby. “I
am delightful, and you would be blessed to have another of me, which
is impossible because I am one of a kind. You can't duplicate this
greatness. You'll just get another Toby.”
“Hey!”
Toby protested. “I 'always contribute in unique ways.' It was in
more than one progress report.”
“They're
competing to see who's better birth control,” I commented, making
every vampire except Eva laugh loudly. Eva flipped me off, and I
returned the gesture. Sarah swatted the air above my hand.
“Freyja
is right there!” Sarah admonished us. Freyja looked up in
confusion from where she was making a stuffed bunny dance with a
plastic dinosaur for Nova.
“What?”
“Nothing,
sweetie,” Sarah said. “Just telling Daddy to behave.”
“Wait,
were you two talking about having another kid?” Mia asked. “Hello.
We're giving you grandchildren here!”
“Hey,
Garret's the one about to start the baby train,” I pointed out.
Mia, Toby, and Eva all turned to Garret as one.
“Who?”
they said in unison.
“Well,
no babies yet, but I asked Clara to marry me,” he said, slightly
flustered, which made me grin.
“And
promised to give them to her,” I added. Garret nodded.
“Goddammit,”
Toby swore.
“Hey!”
Freyja snapped at him. “I'm right here!”
Everyone
burst out laughing at that, which had clearly been Freyja's goal,
going off the smug look on her face.
“Now
why are you swearin'?” Garret asked Toby.
“I
thought you weren't ever getting married,” Toby grumbled.
“You're
twenty-two years old. Why does it matter if I get married now? Not
like I did it when you were still growin' up, like?”
“It's
contagious!” he complained. “I need wedding-be-gone spray.”
“I'm
not getting married,” Eva pointed out.
“You
haven't had a long term relationship in your life,” Toby said,
rolling his eyes.
“You
don't have to marry Billie,” I said. Toby turned to me with wide
eyes and shook his head emphatically.
“Billie?”
Jamie, Eva, Garret and Lukas asked together. Toby dropped to the
ground where he was and buried his face against his knees.
“Da-a-a-a-d!
Why do you have the biggest mouth ever?” he whined at his knees.
“But
you broke up months ago—oh.” Jamie made the connection first.
“Oh. Oh, Toby.”
“Ahh.
Grandbabies,” Eva said. “Ha ha! I don't have to worry about that!
Joiner.”
“Why
won't the ground swallow me?” Toby muttered into his knees.
“Why
not?” Freyja asked Eva.
“I'm
a vampire. No babies for me,” Eva answered. “Mama and Mom had to
work really hard for you. Nope. Never. Not even a little bit
interested. I have the best permanent birth control.”
“Doesn't
work for cis male vampires,” Toby complained. “And I don't want
it to be permanent. I just don't want to settle down with a family
any time in the next few decades.”
“Decades?”
Charlie asked, looking startled.
“Dhampir
live a lot longer than humans,” I answered. “Toby's already
showing signs he's not aging normally anymore. He slowed down around
seventeen. He might still be biologically seventeen.”
“I
stopped at twenty,” Mack spoke up, and we all turned to him. He
smiled. “I'm pushing sixty.”
“The
beard hides it pretty well,” Christina commented, looking over at
him. He rubbed his beard, smiling. Keona kissed his cheek.
“But
you aren't stopped. I'd say you're up to twenty-five under
that,” Keona said. He chuckled.
“Just
what me and my dhampir friends always called it,” he said, taking
her hands in his.
“Yeah,
we call it that, too,” Toby mumbled.
“Has
Julian stopped? I can't even tell his age looking at him,” Mack
asked, giving Lukas a hard look. “You two could be twins.”
“I
was around his age when I died,” Lukas said. “But it is difficult
to say. I believe he stopped around twenty-one.”
“I
was twenty-one!” Eva declared brightly.
“When
you died,” Toby said, rolling his eyes.
“More
unfair crap from my little brothers,” Mia grumbled, her eyes
twinkling with amusement. “They won't age. Little jerks got taller
than me before they were grown up and now they get to be young for
decades.”
“Nothing
making you stay human,” Eva said.
“Wanting
to stay human is making me stay human,” Mia replied. “Vampire
lives are too scary.”
“Sorry
about that,” I said and walked over to sit next to her. She leaned
away from Harley to rest against my shoulder, and I put my arm around
her.
“Wait.
Whose turn is it to go back?” Mia asked.
“Me
and Dad number three,” Christina answered. “When do we get to go
back?”
“That's
Da,” Toby supplied, grinning.
“Didn't
confuse you none?” Christina asked Toby, and he shook his head.
“Vati,
Dad, Da. I picked up his accent a bit when I was a kid, and that
was confusing,” Toby said, laughing. “When I was three, I got mad
narked when I asked Dad for a biscuit and he gave me an American
biscuit. He knew what I wanted.”
“I
did, and you weren't getting a cookie after throwing your biscuit in
my face,” I said while Mia shook me with her laughter. “Garret
got such a kick out of you using his words for things. If it wasn't
for Doctor Who, Kipper and Peppa Pig, I would
have been a lot more confused. I got my kicks from deliberately
getting you what you were asking for. Like the light up torch for
your birthday when you really wanted your own flashlight.”
“That
torch was so cool and worked for what I wanted that I couldn't even
be mad,” Toby said, still laughing. “I picked up on the joke by
the time I was five.”
“No
one answered my question. Figures I get stuck with the group of ADHD
vampires,” Christina said, making us all laugh.
“Sorry,”
Sarah said, looking up from her phone. “Zaria is taking a nursing
break before calling anyone else back.”
“What's
his name, then?” Christina asked.
“Nope,
you get to find that out the same way the rest of us did,” Keona
said quickly.
“That's
not fair! You found out first!” her sister complained.
“I
know what it is,” Toby said, looking smug.
“Don't
you dare,” Keona said, pointing at him. He grinned.
“I
won't! I'm not the bigmouth,” he said, shooting me a dirty look. I
shrugged.
“Sorry,”
I said, not really sorry. I had had to sit on that too long as it
was. Also, I knew he didn't want to be the one to tell his moms. I
could be the bad guy for him.
“How
do you know?” Christina asked.
“Julian
keeps thinking it over and over. He can't stop. It's like a siren
blaring down our bond,” Toby said. Christina stared at him blankly.
“You're...
telepathic?”
“No,
but he is a little. What I have is... hard to explain. I'm gifted,
though, and what I can do piggybacks on what he can do. And not just
him! If I try really hard...” Toby turned and stared at the stack
of baby blocks in the corner. He moved onto his knees and clenched
his fists. Shaking, he held one hand out toward the blocks. It lifted
off the pile and spun in the air. I remembered the first time he'd
borrowed from Garret's gift and how it had shocked Garret so badly
that he'd blown out all the lights in the room pulling the
telekinesis back away from Toby. It had developed on his twenty-first
birthday. He'd gotten drunk and started joking that since he could
use Julian's gift, he could use anyone's. It was diluted, so the baby
block was all he could really lift.
“That
was mine he just hijacked,” Garret said, holding up his hand. He
smirked and then the block went hurtling at Toby, who shrieked and
ducked, covering his head with both arms. It stopped half a foot away
and spun in the air, nowhere near hitting him. The parts of the room
not staring in shock were laughing. Unable to resist, I reached over
and grabbed a second block and lobbed it at Garret's. I grinned at
the successful clack when it connected.
“No
throwing things inside!” Mia, Jamie and Sarah all yelled at me at
the same time. I jumped, startled and half-guilty. Freyja pointed at
me and laughed.
“Garret
caught it!” I pointed out as both blocks floated back and settled
down in front of a delighted Nova.
“What
else can you do?” Christina asked, wide eyes fixed on Toby. I
noticed they were the same color as Isaac's. Keona's were a
cooler-toned brown.
“No
one else here is gifted,” I said.
“I
can't really show it off, but I can get stronger pulling on my other
dads,” Toby said. “I can bench seven hundred if either of them is
there. By myself, I can only do three hundred.”
“You
can bench three hundred pounds? You aren't half that!”
Christina shook her head in disbelief.
“Mack
can press almost five hundred,” Keona said. Christina spun to look
at her brother-in-law. He nodded.
“Well,
he's swole. The kid isn't,” Christina said. Toby shrugged.
“I'm
one-seventy, by the by,” Toby said. I frowned.
“You
look bigger than I did at one-seventy, and you're two inches taller
than me,” I commented.
“Don't
look at me,” he said, shrugging. “I've tried to put on muscle,
but I have to bench three hundred to build up anything, and
it's too much hassle. Julian eats a whole cow a week to stay that
big.”
“Oh,
he does not,” Jamie said, laughing. “Sure felt like you both did
in high school, though. And he does fine with climbing and hiking. He
hasn't had to do any lifting.”
“I
guess Vati's got better muscle genetics than Dad, then,” Toby said
with a shrug. “You know I'm just as active.”
“Dance
doesn't build the same muscles,” Garret pointed out.
“I
climb and hike with Jules every summer!” Toby protested.
“He
does it all year,” Garret returned.
“Too.
Much. Hassle,” Toby reiterated. “And I don't need it. I'm hot
just the way I am.”
“I'm
so glad our children all came out with healthy egos,” Jamie said,
rolling her eyes. I laughed so hard that Mia pushed me away while she
laughed.
“And
looking like movie stars,” Eva agreed, making me laugh harder.
“Looking
like?” Mia tossed out. “How many movies have you been in now?”
“I
haven't been a star,” Eva said. “Yet. Gimme time.”
“She's
right, though,” Harley said, pulling Mia close to look at her until
she blushed. “Definitely movie star beautiful.”
“Oh,
hush,” she said, bright red but grinning.
“And
brilliant, talented, golden-hearted,” he nuzzled her neck, and I
got up to go back to Sarah and give him space to keep telling my
daughter how wonderful she was. I smiled at him so he knew I approved
and that I wasn't moving out of discomfort, but he wasn't seeing
anyone but Mia. Nova noticed and got up to run headlong into her
parents' cuddle.
“Hug
Nova!” she yelled, and they obediently pulled her into their arms
and started plying her with compliments and kisses.
“Hug
Freyja?” Freyja grinned at me and Sarah, so we laughed and indulged
her. She looked over at Lukas and Jamie. “Hey! I made a request
over here! You, too, Da!”
The
other three got up, laughing hard, and came over to make a big cuddle
huddle with her at the center.
I
couldn't wait to see how much more love and happiness our family was
going to grow by.
