Token Broken

it's raining

been talkin bout my parts

today I'm

choking on brittle hearts

And all I need is a moment

a moment to breathe

maybe to feel

instead I've got a poem

a moment to seethe

'cause I'm not real

I've lived my life in drag

never a mirror

just another... flag

is anyone here

I can't see

I can't breathe

I can't be

your broken token

again

visceral entropy

within

you want inside of me

when strangled

I don't know who to tell

entangled

I dragged me back from hell

And all I need is compliance

a scrap of your time

maybe your mind

instead I've got this silence

a waste of my rhyme

No, I'm not fine

I've lived my life confused

never a mirror

always lost and abused

is anyone here

I can't see

I can't breathe

I can't be

your broken token

again

a break from your ennui

within

you want inside of me

You can't

I can't

You can't

I can't

be here

a moment to breathe

maybe to feel

a moment to seethe

'cause I'm not real

I'm not

Sleeping With Ghosts

I clutch your arm around me

holding me together

My eyes clenched tight

can't bear any light

'cause you won't hold up to it

Your touch is already insubstantial

because you're not there

Maybe you were never there

I'm sleeping with a ghost

I'm not alone

You're here with me

I'm not alone

You're right there

Hold me together

I'm not alone

I won't move

I'll stay right here

Clinging to your memory

Clinging to the dark

Clinging to you

Sleeping with your ghost

When I open my eyes

Will you have ever been here at all?

I'm not alone

I won't open my eyes

Don't leave me

Just hold me

Don't be a memory

I'm not lonely

I'm not alone

I can smell you

I can't

I can't just be sleeping with ghosts

Castles: Chapter One

The following content is provided for free as a sample of Castles, the fifth book in the Lost Humanity series, by H.S. Kallinger. Please feel free to share this page, but be kind and don't copy and paste the text elsewhere.

This work is available in advance of the finished, published text as a preview.

If someone ever tells you that being a newly changed vampire is easy, they're either gifted, lying, or they're not going to live very long. You can be pretty sure that they don't have a family to balance.

Zack Henderson has learned the hard way just how right his sire was when he warned him that there would be unexpected, harder challenges brought on by his new nature.

Now he and Sarah are back home and finding their places in this new world into which they've been reborn. But has too much changed, and can they keep their family together in the face of events beyond their control?

GISHWHES 2014 Story

GISHWHES is over for the year, and while this is a little slow in coming, I did help a friend's team who requested a piece of microfiction for item #78: Obtain from a previously published sci-fi author a story of no more than 140 words that included Misha Collins, the Queen of England, and an elopus (an elephant-octopus chimera, the mascot of the hunt).

This is what I contributed:

Misha's Greatest Gift 

by H.S. Kallinger, author of the Lost Humanity series

“What have you done, Mr. Collins?” Her majesty stared at the expansive tank in front of her.

“You said that your greatest wish was to commission the most amazing, intelligent creature in the world,” Misha answered, confused by her reaction. “You wanted to be remembered forever. Well, an elephant never forgets.”

“This is not an elephant!” The Queen of England gestured emphatically at the grey beast settling to the toy-strewn, sandy bottom of the enclosure.

Misha followed her gaze. What some might describe as 'monstrous,' the beast had an obvious intelligence shining from her black eyes. He found her beautiful. Each tentacle felt around its environment with care.

“It's your elopus, your majesty. We've given you your dream.”

“Dream?”

The elopus turned to her, and in a sentient display, dipped down into a bow.

“Yes.” Misha smiled. “Your greatest dream.”

Predators: Chapter One

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Random Musings and Rants on Character Development and Criticisms

I both love and hate tropes. I love to abuse them -- take them and twist them into something other than the way they're usually used. I like to use them appropriately. I like to piss all over them.

One complaint I expected for my first books was for the main character. He's not John Wayne. He doesn't like John Wayne. He's not Jack from Will and Grace. I'm not sure they'd even get along. No, he's not a manly man, and he's not a flaming queen. He's bisexual. He's a geek. More, he's a B character in his own world.

That was the whole point.

He was meant to be an ordinary geek. Not some hero or super-villain in training. Part of my thought process behind him was to look at the flunky -- the guy under the villain -- and follow his transition to becoming said flunky. Not even the villain's right hand man (who, in this series, is actually a woman).

pictured: a geek's kitten from Le Meow

Musing on "Said"

Just a random post about the word "said." The current trend in writer advice is to use the fuck out of "said" and avoid other words for it.

Readers hate that.

Seriously, one of the biggest complaints I see from readers when perusing book reviews is: "It's all he-said, she-said -- they don't vary it."

So why the hell are writers and editors advising new writers to stick to it? I have no idea, and I've read several articles on why. I've read examples where 'said' was used compared to the exact same snippet written with alternatives. The whole point was to show that said was great and should be used.

The 'said' paragraph was flat and boring. I didn't care about it. Once the alternatives were substituted, I felt drawn in and a part of the story. It was an utter failure to defend the word 'said.'

So, I'm sorry, but while 'said' should be used, and used often (and all tags to that effect should also be dropped where possible, such as when an action immediately follows that can identify the speaker), you should also replace it whenever another word better describes how something was said.


From The Huffington Post, this was offered up in an otherwise great article on self-editing:

'A character can't "laugh" something. They can't "snip" "spit" "snarl" "grouse" words.'

Oh, yes they can. While I try to avoid mixing action with expression, you damn well can snarl something (in fact, someone is more likely to snarl a word than make the sound) and grouse. Grouse is a synonym for 'grumble' and indicates the tone with which something is spoken.

Snip? I'll give them snip. You can be snippy, but you can't snip a word... that's for scissors. If you've never had words spat at you, that's great, but it happens. As for laughing, you can laugh words, but I agree that it should be separated if they didn't actually simultaneously speak and laugh (which I do often when I'm amused enough).

'Said' can become invisible, sure. But a book written with nothing but 'said' for a speaking tag is like a coloring book that hasn't been used. A book that relies entirely on synonyms for said is tiring and tedious, too. There has to be a balance. I'm not pretending to have it perfected. As if.

But I felt this needed to be said as a reader of books, as a lover of books, and as a writer of books.

Bridges: Chapter One

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Meme Monday: Writer Leopard

Today, I give you, Fuck Yeah Writer Leopard:

This may be a problem for me...

After making sure no one is looking

And it's almost always important.

*snicker*

Best for ideas, worst for my poor editor.

I think I've finally learned to stop doing stupid things like planning things in advance.

Yup. Right down to figuring out her class schedule and even taking free classes.

And can't write until the research is done.

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” ~Ray Bradbury

At the most inconvenient times.

It's a miserable cycle.

This is how I finally got published.

Word.

And start bawling my eyes out.

Works great for inspiration.

Pet: Chapter One

The following content is provided for free as a sample of Pet, the second book in the Lost Humanity series, by H.S. Kallinger. Please feel free to share this page, but be kind and don't copy and paste the text elsewhere.

Hate is a four-letter word—one that hits home for Zack Henderson only three years after being the victim of terrible violence.​

​​

While settling into his new life, he finally manages to put the past behind him. Just as he believes he is finally safe, though, hate comes smashing through his door. When everything he cares about is torn away from him, he must find the strength to make decisions of which he had never believed himself capable.

​​

In a world with vampires, humans can still show that being dead is not a prerequisite for being a monster.